I got called a Social Justice Warrior, and not in a good way

Content warning: transgender issues, bathroom rights, possibly unpopular opinions.
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Hello readers, as we wrap up 2019, I thought I’d write a short post (I can’t make long stories short, but I’ll try) about a series of unfortunate events that had taken place over the last twenty-four hours. While I won’t detail the exact nature of the events or reveal people’s names and genders to protect the privacy of those involved, and thus not risking libel, slander, or defammation of character, I will just write out some of my beliefs to set things straight.
As y’all probably know, I am pretty active in social justice causes, particularly relating to disability and LGBTQ2SIA+ rights. I am working hard to publish my debut novel which features a transgender person and an autistic person in a Latine family. Somebody told me that someone with a disability in a Hispanic family is often swept under the rug. I think saying that is a great eyecatcher when pitching or querying publishers and agents. Also, I am really thankful that someone was able to articulate the circumstances so well that it inspired me to retitle my autobiography. It’ll now be called, Finding my Voice: A Memoir. before, it was just called My Autobiography. I wrote it in 2013 when I was at the transitional programme at the request of my former vision teacher. I think he wanted to show things about me to some people he was reaching out to after he had won his litigation against his employer.
Back in July of this year, on the fiftieth anniversary of the 1969 moonlanding, someone showed me a recording made by Neil Armstrong. I have actually been ramping up to this by watching the realtime player on Apollo XI’s web site. It was actually during the time that I was at the second Catalyst retreat when I was sent a Whatsapp message, so I played it. Actually, now that I think about it, I think this person and I had a conversation about that before they sent me the message. Anyway, I told this person that I although I liked the recording, I wish Neil Armstrong had used a more inclusive phrase to refer to everyone equally. That’s why I was delighted when I got an E-mail by Pete Buttigiege saying One giant leap for humanity. Anyway, I have been a little impatient and irritable towards this person, but I think this has been brewing for quite some time due to an unrelated thing, so my message to them might have sounded a little harsher than it was meant to be. Anyway, this person doesn’t have the intellectual capacity for their age, and their perception and reasoning were so flawed that, when they relayed the situation to one of their friends, that person’s perception of me became largely skewed, and it led them to jump to conclusions about me and saying that I was a selfish and demanding person. Interestingly, this person isn’t probably aware how demanding they can be as well. It may have been because I might’ve accidentally triggered a flashback of a previous experience they’ve had with me or someone else. I noticed some hypocracy on their part because they said that they supported Martin Luther King Jr’s speech, and they had no problems with my being transgender, and they helped me come up with ways to help my brother, so it really didn’t make sense why they would be making such a big deal out of what a friend told them about me.
So, a month later, after asking if I could be part of a Whatsapp group this person was in, I learned that their friend had developed a strong dislike for me because I was an SJW. I did the best I could to defend myself against these accusations, and even forwarded some of the messages to my friend to advise both me and the other person. I know some people won’t often give you the time of day to be put into the crossfire between two or more opposing parties and try to act as the go-between and remain diplomatic, so I am really thankful that so far, they kept standing up for me because things happened because my intentions were misunderstood a few times. One of the opposing parties even asked the other person to urge this person to ditch me, but it didn’t work, which I’ll explain later.
We have this norm in our transgender community choir, Transpose. It says Assume best intentions. It simply means that if you say or do something you think or feels right, but other people might not agree with it, or it gets construed in a totally different manner and leads to an undesired outcome you weren’t expecting, rather than argue about it and putting you on the spot, assume that you meant well because everyone has their own experiences and walks of life, and then try to edify you so that you can try and articulate what you were saying or doing better.
Here’s a good example of this. A couple days ago, I was having a conversation with someone who is blind who ended up misgendering someone at a store by saying, ‘Thank you, sir’, and only using the person’s voice to cue them. That person pointed to their name tag, but they were probably not allowed to verbally contradict the customer, since the customer is always right. That brought up some rampant transphobic comments and a heated debate about how transgender people ought to conform to societal expectation of what is more male-like, more female-like, etc. Someone said that they went into a women’s bathroom, and they heard someone walk in, go standing up, which makes a different sound, and probably engaged in a deep vocal hygiene which made that person feel very uncomfortable. While I understood their concerns, I, as a transgender person myself, refuse to use the bathroom that does not match my gender identity. However, I don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable by using a bathroom that I want to use, but for which my expression or functions don’t match what is expected. I said, in reply to that person, that some transgender people can’t afford to get all the medical procedures needed to pass, but there were some basic things that could be done to pass more reasonably, like shaving, sitting down, and talking in a higher voice. That person responded by saying that it wasn’t very nice for me to define how transgender people should conform, especially since not all of them choose to go through all those medical procedures even if they could afford it. So, it wasn’t just about whether they could help how they functioned. However, my reason for saying this was because I didn’t want more transgender people getting hurt by transphobic cisgender people. So, when I use the bathroom, I put a sign covering up the men and women signs that has all gender written on it. Or, I will simply use a gender-neutral bathroom, if one exists. It is definitely a ligitimate concern that women are seeking protection from so-called transvestites and cross-dressers who may potentially be rapists, and I don’t blame them for that. So, what can be done so that we can find a middle ground?
Anyway, I recently published one of my books on Smashwords and KDP, which includes both paperback and Kindle editions. It is about what it is like to go on a plane for the first time, written from a blind and hard-of-hearing person’s point of view. It’ll also be available on ACX, Bookshare, and Learning Ally soon. I’m not sure about BARD, though. When I told the person who I’ve talked to before, they thought I was starting to shove social justice down their throat again, and the situation quickly escalated to its zenith. Then, through certain means which I will not detail here, I learned that the person’s friend has judged me unfairly and falsely concluded that I was like all SJWs and said that words like he, male, man, were prety much bad words in SJW culture. They thought that although social justice was important to stop black people from being lynched, and why laws exist against discriminating against people with disabilities, today’s SJWs are often viewed as victims or heroic fighters for causes that have already been dealt with, and then make up reasons for why things are sexist, genderist, racist, etc when they’re not. They said that SJWs often viewed white men as being a sin. This person accused me of being tyrannical about how people talked, like why we said things such as oh man, oh boy, oh brother, etc. I mean, yes, I do get a little offended by using male-default terms, but it doesn’t necessarily mean what this person thinks it means. Of course, they couldn’t help thinking that because they didn’t know my backstory.
Another thing they said about SJW cults is that they have their own motto, The future is female. Imagine the outcry that would follow if people said The future is male. Ugh! I can’t stand hardcore feminism. It annoys me that people try and act like the lives of women and black people are more important than other peoples’. I mean, it’s important, yes, but it’s not more important. There is a difference. I remember a friend telling me back in 2015 that they almost couldn’t get through reading an article in English class written by a feminist. They said that feminists only did things to help white women, so it took another movement of black women to get them to care about them, as well. Anyway, they essentially said the same thing, that they thought all men were evil, and that they wanted all men to die. Anyhow, this person wondered if my being in social justice causes has made me disenchanted, like I have been brainwashed in some way. I don’t think so, especially since I have pretty good reasons for doing what I do.
The problem is that each social justice movement is selfish in a way that rewards the people in it, and only focuses on them in the current moment rather than devise a plan to help future generations. In my case, though, I’m just helping those who are non-binary because it is a ligitimate concern. The percent of nonbinary people having jobs is extremely low. I mean, can you imagine someone walking in, looking like a man, but wearing a skirt and a bra, and talking in a high voice?
This is the truth. I do not hate men. I hate men who think females are worthless. I’m actually advocating for Pete Buttigiege, because even if we didn’t elect a female president by 2020, at least he’d be a lot more caring and sympathetic about females, being gay himself. I know I said at one point that we should start a Female President Now campaign, which would be like the Deaf President Now campaign of 1987, but that was before I learned about Pete. Maybe what needs to happen is that we need more minorities to become president, such as those who are Hispanic or Latine, female, or even blind. I don’t believe in suppressing free speech unless it was really legitimate. Free speech does have it consequences. That’s why there are laws against hate crimes, as well, but unfortunately, I don’t think there aren’t any for people who make verbal and ableist, transphobic, racist, etc harassments towards someone. And yes, it’s true that I do hate people who disagree with me, but only if they disagree with me disrespectfully. If we simply agreed to disagree, then I wouldn’t hate them because they were still being respectful of my opinion.
I guess the reason SJWs have gained such a bad reputation was because of the whole thing with Brie Larson and Hiliary Clinton, and how the media kept forcing political correctness down people’s throats 24/7. Here’s a question I asked on Quora. I thought the person’s answer sort of explained the reason for why this person probably disliked me so much. They have been misguided and misled by hearsay information, and probably because of past experience.
Also, the other reason I am very passionate about social justice is because, as a blind and hard-of-hearing person, I’ve found that you can often get support if you have one disability or the other, but not both. That’s why I said in my author biography that intersectionality is important. If you’ve read my posts about what my brother and I have gone through because of our father and mother, and what lengths I’ve gone to advocate for him, then it’ll probably show that I’m a great person. If I didn’t care about social justice, I probably wouldn’t have helped my brother as much as I had. If the people who bully me and criticise me for the stupidest things (like not advocating or speaking up for myself) knew my past, I’ll bet you they would’ve had thought twice about doing that. And, while I don’t wish this upon anyone, if that had happened to anybody, and they were D/deaf-blind and in a Spanish-speaking family, they wouldn’t have been able to learn social customs.
So anyway, this friend of mine has been extremely helpful. They were able to plead my case and use that as a basis to explain why they still remained my friend even after all that had happened. I need more friends who feel that mediation and arbitration come easily to them. I wish more people knew how to use peer counselling. We often hear about taking care of yourself in the transgender community, but we often get so lost in it that we forget that we also need community care as well. I once asked, what can a professional counsellor, psychologist, therapist, etc do that a friend cannot do? Friends often mean well, but often give you their unwise piece of advise. Of course, it would be unethical to require professionals to go through those experiences to relate, but it would at least help knowing from the patient’s perspective what they were going through.
So anyway, I recently read some books by Marilyn Reynolds in which one of the featured classes is Peer Communications. They say that the best way to communicate is to avoid saying things like You always or you never. No put-downs, and use I statements whenever possible. So, if you have to talk to someone and do it in a way that won’t fuel the fire to make it worse, then make it seem as though you are an ally to that person, so that the information you’ll be providing would be more tolerable. Then you can explain what you want afterword. The important thing is to emphasise things that’ll make the person feel so bad that they’ll realise that they’ve been being unfair and unsympathetic because they didn’t know about the circumstances. Like for instance, it is true that I never fought back when my brother bit me more than one time. I mostly struggled to run away from him. So, whenever he bumps into me, I quickly run away from him to avoid that happening to me. So, they are basically hurting a defenseless person, but I hate to think myself as one, because I’m constantly fighting to find my voice. My personality sort of fits that of Cinderella, who did not gripe. You can actually read about this on Broad Blogs.
So yeah, in the end, I don’t know if I’ll get back together or not, especially since I’ve been friends with this person since 2010. We did have a similar issue back in 2014, and we didn’t speak for almost two years, but we reconnected again. Deep down, I will always care about this person, because I have always stood up for them when no one else would. I don’t think they thought about that when they made the hasty decision to ditch me. I know that I have helped out this person quite a lot, even when they had been taking advantage of me many times and often not giving me things in return, but I did the best I could at the time. So, knowing that I won’t be their friend for a second time will leave me with a guilt so profound that I don’t know if I’ll ever get over. For the rest of my life, I’ll keep thinking about how I haven’t tried hard enough to explain my intentions. Maybe I should think about how I don’t have to worry about their constant haranguing, or the repretitive things they do on a daily basis. However, I learned of something that might make me feel a little better. I heard long ago that sometimes doing a secret good deed to help someone might make you feel better, and it makes the person feel better, even if they didn’t know who was behind it, but knowing that it got good results is enough to be greatly rewarding. So, if my friend and I agree to do something, I’ll probably donate a small amount to begin with, because I don’t want this person to have a miserable life.
Anyhow, I hope y’all understand now where I’m coming from. I look forward to getting my memoir published!

Resolutions

Well, it’s that time of the year again. The weather is getting colder, the holiday season has officially started, and the time for reconciliation is more important than ever as we approach a new decade.
I thought I’d finish what one of my friends was trying to post on here regarding finding your identity, and making people respect that, not only for moral or ethical reasons, but also on a legal one, as well. I have had a bit of issues with this, but not nearly as much, at least not yet, anyway.
First of all, I believe that we have grown accustomed to naming and giving our kids an identity based on what their personality or physique reminds of of. No doubt we do the same with our pets. We automatically give them names that will remain with them for life, or until, if it is a human, or a pet who is smart enough to know that they like a different name and refuse to come to you when you call them by that name, they would have an opportunity to redefine their identity later.
Also, I want to emphasise that nobody here asked to be brught into this world. That’s why it is important that we not disown them or make their lives harder just for being themselves. Our parents brought us here, and their parents brought our parents here, and so on and so forth. How many people have said to themselves or others, I never wanted to be here? I’m sure we’ve been down that road. I know I have. That’s why I wrote my testimony.
I never asked to be brought into the world. I never asked to be born with a condition that would cost me my eyesight, and later, most of my hearing. I never asked to be put into conditions I have no control over now. I never asked to be dealt these cards. But, thanks to how things turned out, and thanks to the direction my life had taken, I am still living at home with an older brother who has fought for control of self-determination, and several legal battles to attend. I could’ve gone to college when I was just out of high school, but nobody told me things I was going to come across until it was too late. But, because I am being civily disobedient, I refuse to do anything with school until the situation has been remedied.
However, there are some things I will not change about myself. I am proud of having discovered who I am, who I should’ve been born as, how I should’ve been addressed all my life, and what things I should’ve had a long time ago. The only problem is that a lot of people assume that I wasn’t born that way, I just chose to be that way and put on this persona that isn’t really me, that I am just pretending. No, I am not pretending at all. This is the true, real me. I had to grow up and grow into a new body, mind and spirit. Is it called coming out of the cupboard? Is it like coming out of one’s shell? Maybe it’s more about coming into something, finding your true name. Have you heard of people who rechristen their crafts to improve their luck? That’s how it is for me. I rechristened myself. I gave myself the identity that was so erroneously shoved onto me by what my parents thought was appropriate for me at the time. I got rid of the identity that was associated with negative memories and had trauma and abuse attached to it. I can’t say that I grew out of it, though, because it would imply that I liked it, but I decided later that it wasn’t for me.
However, when people look at me, they don’t see the real me. They see someone who they automatically perceive to be masculine. That is not how I want to be perceived, but I can’t help the way I look. And, while I cannot see how I look, I would imagine that it would look as if I were seeing a stranger in a Photograph. Tom Henrik. Someone told me, long ago, I was broken and it stuck. Strong Enough by Bobby Joe Valentine.
I have been asked by people in the LGBTQIA+ community why, if I don’t like being called male pronouns, do I not transition to a female binary gender? Well, I chose to legally recognise my gender as nonbinary because I think it is easier for me to look androgynous. If I could look more female, I would do it in a heartbeat. But, this is what I have to work with. That’s why, more than ever, I want these groundbreaking procedures to reach clinical trials by the 2020’s. We don’t have to be defined by anybody else. Fractal, by Kim Boekbinder.
So, it’s a bitter pill to swallow, and it’s one I have to swallow almost every day. What can I do to reduce the potency of this pill? What switches would I need to flick so that I wouldn’t have to deal with this any more? What can I do if I find somebody who says to me, I don’t care what your birth certificate, court order, ID, etc says. I’ve made up my mind and you can’t change it. I’ll call you by whatever I feel like calling you. That hasn’t happened to me yet, but I still wonder….
I heard that in some places, you can get your birth certificate changed at the administrative level without having to go to court and potentially publishing your name change in the newspaper or anywhere else. The only thing you would’ve needed was a doctor’s note or a note from a sworn health authority that affirmed your gender identity. Quite a few states are starting to legally recognise third gender markers, but the federal government is not yet one of them. But, that’s one of the things I like about the professional world. When you change your name, they will go back and update everything and make it look as if you were always that name. This doesn’t happen everywhere. For example, baptism registries will still have your old name. If you were written about in the media (good or bad) those will still have your old name. The sad news is that they have no legal obligation for them to update it.
Unfortunately, I was told that there may be certain entities that will not accept a birth certificate as proof of name change. I mean, you could say, Well, who can argue the validity of the certificate? You can’t argue with a doctor. Similarly, you can’t argue with a lawyer or judge, especially if they have PH.Ds. It is official as it gets. However, I was lucky in that Oregon has amended a statute that wouldn’t require you to go to a hearing or publish the name change in the newspaper. All I needed to do was attest that I was going through surgical, hormonal, or other treatment for the purposes of affirming gender identity. That resulted in the judge ordering that my old name be replaced with my new legal name… the name I’ve always wanted and should’ve had, as well as legally recognising me as gender nonbinary. The judge also ordered the court records to be sealed, so that nobody could access them. Not everybody was so lucky. There is a judge here in Oregon who is refusing to issue gender nonbinary markers, of which several amici curiae briefs have been prepared by Basic Rights Oregon and American Civil Liberties Union.
Anyway, I have thought hard about what I should do now that I have a key to unlock many locks. Could I use it in a situation where someone insists on Deadnaming or misgendering me? I found this Quora post to be pretty interesting. My therapist said that I should not jump to the big things, but rather, think on a micro-level scale first before going to the macro-level. For example, should I sue someone just because they called me sir or man? Why not see if they are willing to listen and be trained accordingly?
Because of my hearing loss, I have a greater tendency to sound more masculine when I talk on the phone, but sometimes I am called madamme and I always feel warm and fuzzy when they do. Of course, it’s hard to do that in person, unless the person I was talking to was completely blind. This actually happened to me a few months ago when I went to a retreat. Someone addressed me as lady, girl, and possibly something else, and oh my gosh! How I loved it when they did!!!
I would like to detail two situations, both good and bad, in which I was able to redirect the conversation. In the first situation, I went to accompany the majority of the of a group participants to an activity, and I met somebody there who remembered me from my O&M days. Of course, I didn’t know anything about them. So, when they asked me what my name was, I gave them my new, legal name. Sometime later, they asked me if I knew Deadname. I was, like, huh? Did I hear you aright? I asked them to repeat the question. I said that I didn’t know anyone with that name. They were, like, ‘Oh, well, he was in your group, too.’ I felt so happy when that person couldn’t associate me with that name.
A few days later, my mum and I went somewhere. One thing to note, however, was that I have estranged from certain family members and relatives. I do not want them to know about my legal name change until after I had moved out, and I am a long distance away from them. Therefore, when we went to this place, she had informed the staff what my name was. Only, of course, she didn’t know that I had legally changed it. Instead she gave them my Deadname. So, when I got home and saw the E-mails I have requested, they all bore my old legal name. So, I wrote back and attached the court order to prove to them that I no longer used that name.
Oh, and one more situation that I didn’t remember until now: I have had a bit of a problem changing my name with Experian and CreditKarma because I have been getting correspondences from them under my old name. So, I called my LegalShield provider firm and told them the situation. They were able to write up a letter, and we heard back from them, and they sent me a new credit report with my new legal name on it.
Now, it’s a matter of fact before I need to let other people know. For instance, if my mother writes a will, she may use my old legal name. But I think it should be okay if I still have a copy of the court order and birth certificate that show my old and new legal name.

Basically, because I’ve worked so hard on this name change, I call it a transition more than anything because this represented a sort of self discovery and me finding out who I really was, rather than something a small amount of closed-minded people said that what they refer me as is what they think I am and what they think I should be.
That’s how little and how unfavourably and how disconnected I was to that name. I didn’t feel like me. Of course, when I filled out the paperwork, I had to give a more compelling reason because I knew that just saying I didn’t like it, while it may or might not have been sufficient, to me to just simply say I didn’t like it as a reason wasn’t good enough in terms of effort. I’m sure most judges would accept ‘because I just don’t like it’ as a reason, but I wanted the judge to have some sympathy for me as far as the fact that, in most states, in order to change your name, you need to publish your intentions in a newspaper. Being forced to publish that in the newspaper would’ve jeopardised my safety, as I would’ve had to give them so much personal information, it’s unreal. All digressing aside, I’m glad I’m part of a protected group. I used the fact that we still live in a world where it’s still unsafe to be LGBT, and the judge basically waived all fees, waived my requirement to publish my name change and even sealed my case after it was all done, and after a while those case documents get destroyed.
With me, though, I don’t think I have much a case to sue anyone for disrespecting my name choice because, although I’m LGBT (being that I’m gay) I’m” not trans or gender queer or non binary so I can’t really use that as a cause of action, as I went from one name to another for the same gender.
But I digress. I was this 15 or 16 year old who wrote songs about coming out in my own identity, but I didn’t even know what the hell it meant to have an identity, let alone what it meant to come into my own! Now I see what it really means to have an identity and to come into your own. I look at it like this, and this may make me very unpopular in the LGBT community, maybe even hated, but why should I come out of the closet? It seems so inauthentic and like I’m drawing too much attention to myself. The way I see it, if someone asks me, ‘Am I out?’ we should just say, ‘Out? Out of where? I’m in, I came into my own.’ What do I need to come out from under, and why should I come out of a closet I never knew I was even supposed to be in in the first place!

F.C. So, Show me love on this living planet. Emma’s Revolution and Hundred Waters.
Those are some snippets of stuff one of my friends had written. Basically, no matter whether you are transgender, gender nonbinary, or gender nonconforming, or even someone who is not in the LGBTQIA+ community, you would still be going through a transition. I think the word transition should not only be used to refer to people who change from one gender identity to another, but to anyone who changes any aspect of their life in a significant way.
Therefore, if and when I have children, I will try to give them gender-neutral identities and refer to them as my child, and have them call me by portmanteaus of parent, mother, father, mum, dad, aunt, aunkle, niece, nephew, etc. Or, I can just have them call me by my first name, or an entirely made-up name or something in a different language. When they’re old enough to the point they start talking, I’ll have an initial conversation about whether they like their identity. I’ll have this conversation with them periodically at each milestone they complete. I want them to realise that they can’t rely on me to define who they are. They need to live their lives for themselves. I’ll be like, ‘Do you like your name? Do you like being called these pronouns?’ If they say yes, that’s great. If they say no, then we’ll have a discusson on how we can address the problem, so that they won’t have to go through what I, and so many others, had to go through.
So, together we’ll shout it out like a bird set free. Sia. Though the world may be cold and bitter, and we may be delicate and bruised, we will neither be destroyed nor our roots be pulled. Witch Hazel by Tom Gala. And believe me, We’re all scared. We must learn to help one another through these times and do whatever we can to uplift one another.
So, Now that I’ve about covered nearly all my past history since the last time I’ve posted in 2014 to 2019, I wanted to talk a little more about some of the mysteries of the brain based on some new experiences I’ve had and information I’ve gathered. Starting in the new year, I will talk about some interesting things that might bring us closer to winning a long-fought war.

A Message To The Gay Community: It’s Time To Face The Truth

I’d like to talk to you about something that not a lot of people seem to want to talk about these days. Perhaps this topic is too touchy for many people, or maybe most people are so ashamed of opening up that they choose not to say anything. Maybe they’re too scared of rocking the boat and hurting someone’s feelings. It’s a tale as old as time and I’d like to bring awareness to it.
First off a little bit about me. I’ve got a mental illness, aka mental disability, aka an invisible disability. I also have a vision impairment which is a physical disability. My mental illness or mental disability stems from abuse I’ve suffered as a child and into most of my youth, and it has traumatised me greatly to the point where I’ve felt like a lot of times I just wanted to end it all. Some of my trauma comes from the gay community and judgement towards me. It even got worse to the point where I was raped by a man. When I try to tell others about it, I’m told to just shut up and get over it because society tells a man we’re not supposed to show emotions or feelings, we’re not supposed to cry because that makes us sissies and wimps. I’ve been told by several gay men that I need to get over myself because if I don’t, nobody will ever love me. I’ve also been told that my refusing to put out makes me unworthy and undesirable. It’s honestly really quite sad that the gay community likes to use this mantra of promoting anti-bullying and anti-judgement and they whine and cry about how everyone bullied them for being gay and life is so hard because you’re gay. What people don’t seem to realise is that behind all of that are a community full of massive hypocrites, a community of people who preach against bullying under the guise of a rainbow coloured flag, but then do something completely different.
It’s really sad how a group of people can publically detest bullying and homophobia, but when nobody’s around they do the very thing they publically rally against. They bully and judge and make fun of and belittle and demean their own. That’s called internalised abuse. The sad thing is that anyone can put on a facade of being sweet and innocent. Politicians do it, celebrities do it, and high profile members of the gay community are certainly no exception to the rule. It’s all part of one huge scheme to put on the biggest and best most elaborate Broadway performance the world has ever seen. It’s all so amazing when you’re onstage and you portray to the audience exactly what you want them to see, but I’m here to tell you it’s all an act so nobody can see what goes on behind closed doors. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the gay community have some genuine and kindhearted people, but that’s not the case for the majority of this community, I’m sorry to say.
I’d like to stress that for those of us in the gay community that have been truly bullied and felt judged or alone or criticised, I get it. I really, really do get it. I understand it more than you might think I do. I don’t just have homosexuality going against me. I have a physical disability as well as mental ones so that’s a tripple wammy… three characteristics that intersect with one another. However, we need to stop fooling ourselves. We need to wake up and face the truth. The gay community is filled with imperfect people and we need to stop portraying ourselves as perfect little innocent angels, because while we may have been wronged many times throughout history by those outside of the gay or LGBT+ community, the infuriating truth of the matter is that we’re worse to each other. We judge one another, we bully one another, we make fun of one another and so on and so forth. Why am I saying all of this? Because I have first-hand experience of being judged by my own community. You know, the one that always loves to preach love and tolerance over hate, but then turns around and makes fun of my weight, or makes fun of the fact I’ve a mental disability and even makes fun of the fact I’ve a physical impairment–being my lack of vision. Or the fact that my own community deems me as being unworthy of love and unattractive simply because there are certain things I don’t like to do sexually not only because of the fact I was raped, but because I honestly don’t like those certain things, as well as the fact that I have high morals and I’m not just going to put out because you want me to. If we want real change to happen, the biggest thing we can do to make it happen is start from within and then move outwards.

 

In the Dark..a blessing or a curse?

Whenever I am talking about blind people, I am using that as a term not only to describe the obvious, but to include those who have multiple disabilities that have blindness as the primary disability intersectionally. Comments will be surrounded by asterisks within the blockquoted text.

Since I couldn’t travel to New York City in order to attend the protest against CW’s newest show In The Dark, I thought I’d use social media to highlight exactly why this show is disgusting and problematic, and why it should be boycotted. I don’t think a blind actress should replace a sighted actress at all in this instance; I think the entire show should be obliterated. Not only is yet another disabled character being played by someone without a disability, but the entire synopsis is degrading. I took the time to sit down with a friend while she described the 3 minute and 30 second trailer for this show, and these are the observations I made:

  1. The trailer for a show about a blind girl is not audio described… you think about it and tell me what the problem is, the irony.
    *Well, not only is it lacking in audio description, but deaf-blind people can’t access it because it doesn’t have captioning in Braille. We miss out on a lot of films and TV shows because of this.*
  2. The actress feels faces, which is just about the most irritating stereotype that exists surrounding the blind. In case you didn’t know, we don’t do that. It’s weird, and we possess a lot more social competency and awareness than you give us credit for. This stereotype is almost as infuriating as the belief that we are all depressed, helpless losers with no lives. Oh wait… CW has that covered too…
    *Actually, some, not all, blind people do this. I know some deaf-blind people who feel other people’s faces, and some blind people in other countries might do this as well.*
  3. In the Dark portrays the blind girl as a depressed, helpless loser with no life. She just sits around all day, complains, wallows in self-pity, yells at her guide dog, eats a ton of unhealthy food, drinks a lot, and smokes cigarettes. Clearly, she is blind, and can’t aspire to anything else. Blindness symbolizes the end to all happiness and success, right CW? Thank you for further reinforcing the burden mentality, the idea that only a freak occurrence can save us from ourselves. God forbid we’re content, responsible, self-sufficient, and educated.
    *It is true that blindness is the number one most feared disability compared to other disabilities, but no disability is better than the other. Anybody can have a depressing life that is not related to blindness at all and not have any willingness to succeed, so blind people certainly have nothing to do with it. Yes, it’s harder when you have a lot of challenges, such as having a secondary disability or mental health issues, but at least we’re trying to overcome them. Tell me if the common person is able to differentiate between flawed personalities versus blindness characteristics.*
  4. The actress flails a cane around like a child with a baseball bat, or any new toy, because, let’s be real, to her, it is only a cool toy. This is not representative of a mobility tool, nor proper technique. It’s embarrassing. We do not navigate by wildly thrashing our canes around until we find something. Orientation and mobility skills take years to learn. This little show the actress puts on is disgraceful. This also applies to how she works her guide dog. She does not work him properly because, well, SHE IS NOT BLIND!
    *This is why we need genuine performers with the minority or characteristics that deviates from the social norm being represented. If you want to portray an African American, don’t hire a white person who dyes their skin black. Similarly, don’t hire a woman dressed as a man to portray a transgender man! So yes, working with blind people can help tone down the techniques so that it doesn’t seem so overly exaggerated. But truth is, people say that professional blind performers need so many accommodations it becomes a burden… that’s a load of bull! Still, people would say the show was too boring if it didn’t have all these exaggerations.*
  5. In the first few seconds of the trailer, she immediately knocks something over. While we do find ourselves in a fair share of accidents, spills, and so forth, we are not clumsy idiots. We make human errors just like anyone else. It’s disturbing that the first thing CW wants its audience to watch in the trailer is a blind person making a mess.
    *Everybody makes mistakes, and anybody can be a total cluts. Taking away senses doesn’t reduce cognition or heighten other senses, in most cases, but remember that she was supposed to be drunk in the first place. So, blind people who drank would most certainly knock things over.*
  6. The blind girl is incredibly rude, and purposely uses her blindness to push her way to the front of a line. Watch out everyone, I’m ruthless. I’m blind, so I’m not capable of waiting my turn. Blind people are an impatient species with no compassion. Give me a break!
    *Many blind people have entitlement issues, and in fact, many people in other minorities have this problem. Impatience and lack of tolerance is partly to blame. Yes, we don’t want to act like we’re better than you, we just want equal rights as you. We can do this by educating, not demanding.*
  7. The desperate blind sweep with her arms? Really? We don’t have to feel our way around our own houses. We are intelligent enough to know where everything is. Then again, she is drunk all the time, so maybe I should cut the girl some slack.
    *Why repeat yourself? This is a lot like the point where blind people knock things over. We have good proprioception, and if sighted people could just stop being so light-dependent for a few days, they, too, can develop body coordination. It’s not a superhuman ability to know when we’re home just by feeling the turns of a vehicle, although I am a transhumanist and advocate for enhanced sensory augmentation. We set things up so we know where they are, and we think about what we are going to do before we do them. Sighted people just look and do without thinking. This is why I do not like it when they move things around without me knowing, or leave doors open where I can get a prapfall.*
  8. Wow! We go from being incapable of having sex in the public opinion, to being utterly promiscuous, because it’s impossible for us to enjoy the same things as our nondisabled peers, we have to fall under one extreme or the other. CW has managed to fetishize blind women to do us the honor of overcompensating for low expectations. Yes, we like sex. No, we will not sleep with everything that moves like this girl. We have standards, too.
    *This is very flawed, especially since society sees people with disabilities as being entirely sexless, and yes, that may be true to some extent, but that is not always the case. In fact, there is a lot of concern that blind women are at greater risk for sexual assault. And, it is common for them to date and have sex with other blind people.*
  9. The blind girl only has 2 friends. But wait… plot twist: one of them dies. I can promise you that most of us have more than 2 friends, because we are fully functional members of society who can socialize. Add a zero or two to that number of friends and CW may be slightly more accurate.
    *Having many disabilities, or having things that do not pertain to a disability, can make it hard for people to socialise, so we are not all airheads and bimbos, or social butterflies.*
  10. The blind girl makes eye contact with everyone. Now, while we are able to look in the direction of the person talking to us, we cannot make full eye contact, based on the fact that we are, you know, blind. Eye contact is something that we physically cannot give.
    *Of course blind people can, and should, give eye contact whenever you can. For people whos hearing is dominant in one ear, they end up turning in that direction, which makes eye contact virtually impossible.*
  11. The blind girl has a stereotypical job; she helps out at a guide dog school. This is probably because blind people can only pursue careers in blindness-related fields. They are unable and unwilling to work in mainstream positions, or be integrated into communities at large. We enjoy subminimum wages, sheltered workshops, and blindness-related fields. Couldn’t she at least work as a masseuse?
    *This is true of any minority group, and blind people are certainly no exception. Vocational rehabilitation agencies probably deflected any dreams of blind aspiring performers that they would never succeed. Besides, blind people can become entrepreneurs, and there should be no shame in it as long as it is an honest job.*

All in all, the creators of In the Dark condone, and praise, ableism at its finest.

They degrade the disabled community by casting a sighted actress who can’t use a cane, but gives consistent eye contact. She enforces pre-existing stereotypes, and couldn’t care less as long as she gets a pay cheque. This is a pathetic excuse for a disabled main character. Blind people are not depressed, we have way more than two friends, and, shocker, we don’t cut lines and cheat.
*This is why there is this thing called insporational porn. It’s not a surprise that 70% of the nation’s blindness population is unemployed compared to about 5%, which is just really too bad because blind people have talents that go beyond using things technology-related, and I mean technology as in computers, not medicine, which is another existing stereotype. Sighted people often use wheelchairs to cut lines at airports, and some also try to pass their pets as service animals. So, you’ve got a problem with people taking advantage of our disabilities to get your way? If you want a really exciting show, get yourself a cast of real blind people who do not feel degraded to be in such a flawed premise to work together in solveing a mystery or something, but seriously….who’d want to watch a boring show if the sighted actress were perfect in every way. Yes, some blind people have done some of these things that were contradicted. Sheltered, ruthless, friendless, promiscuous, sexless, face-feeling, depressed and drugged couch potatoes with no life. But it doesn’t have to be like that, and in fact, most of us aren’t. We have more important things to worry about here than quibble about things we haven’t yet watched in its entirety and are fussing over without cause.
So, bottom line is, stop being such a baby and go watch the show. Then you won’t come off sounding like an idiot.*

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More Issues That Seem to Keep Prevailing in This Country

I don’t know if I can make this post, or any post for that matter, short because I know how much we all find political stuff boring since it feels like we’re just repeating the same thing over and over. However, I’m going to outline some bad experiences I’ve had on several social media platforms and sometimes in person, and some remedies I came up with right on the spot to try and combat them.
About six or seven years ago, I was out and about late one week night in the down-town area of the metropolis. I had previously gotten left behind because I didn’t know that my group had evidently left, nor in which direction they had gone. So, not knowing how bad things could get, I eventually made my way (with some assistance) back to the dorms. On the way in, however, this rando stopped me and grabbed onto my left shoulder and spoke to me gruffly. I felt very vulnerable at that point because there were several of them just hanging out on the porch, probably beyond drunk, stoned, high, or whatever. I’ve heard horror stories about harassers and predators on the news, and, to my dismay, my phone had previously gotten wet, so I couldn’t use it for gathering evidence. Although I’ve only had one near miss, I sometimes tighten up inside every time I’m walking and hear guys shouting and swearing angrily, which hasn’t happened all too often fortunately. Still, being in the vicinity of guns and fireworks sometimes scare me and I end up getting paranoid.
About three or four years ago, I’ve read some books featuring fictional victims along with a connection to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). There were some things that I particularly found fascinating, especially after I read another series later on. If you remember from my earlier post about how babies slowly develop consciousness, and how they mostly operate on autopilot until that happens, sometimes I wonder if an abusive experience could be so traumatising to the point the brain would be able to suppress it completely. It’s absolutely true that when a person is traumatised, they can’t remember a lot of details except for the main ones, which suggests that the brain uses a network of neurones to store gross details and eliminate fine ones. By the way, the two books that I first read were Hopeless and Losing Hope, good choice of words! Then I later learned about a series that was set in my home state of Oregon, called The Programme. Sometimes, especially when our brains are capable of remembering everything as we get older, we let our experiences eat away at our inner core. Still, you might never be too old to suppress a bad experience. But, knowing what I went through nearly three years ago gives a perfect example of how dwelling on it can really change your brain chemistry. I’ve heard researchers trying to invent a prototype that was similar to the one used in The Programme, including using light-sensitive proteins to guide them in mapping out memory cells.
When I went to attend a festival over at Gala Choruses in Denver, Colorado, I came up with a brilliant idea that it was a wonder how it had slipped my mind when I could’ve done this a lot sooner. This was of course if I could make it work legally. Fortunately, many laws have this loophole. My idea was to keep a daily record of my activities in audio form, and sometimes video, if it were warranted. I call it the #RecordYourDay campaign. Now, in almost all states, you can say that at least one person must consent to the recording, which can be constrewed as the person making the recording. Unfortunately, Oregon is not one of them. Here’s why. I once read an article about how the military was concerned that Furbies had the ability of recording or eavesdroping on their conversations. That’s why I believe in recording police brutalities, especially when dealing with unarmed people of colour. Or, why victims of bullies should wear body cams and stuff when the bully turns around and pretends to be the victim to get the real victim in trouble.
Anyway, last year sparked a lot of high-profile controversies about whether famous cisgender heterosexual male celebrities had been taking advantage of certain minority groups in the entertainment and legal industries. This was probably caused by the aftermath of the 2016 election, though it could’ve just as well been caused by a completely unrelated incident. At any rate, a new trend started popping up on social media called the #MeToo movement. Although this is slightly extraneous, I came up with an idea for an invention back in 2015, but when I looked it up, I saw that it was already being considered. I was going to call it an anti-rape device, but surprisingly, someone else had beat me to it. So, for those on my Facebook who were in abject defeat following the approval of a new judge in late 2018, I knew I had to think fast on how best to respond. We should all have the right to be righteously angry. However, it always amazes me (and not in the good sort of amazed) that people truly think we want to make these things up, that we truly want to say that someone (or someones) said or did disgusting things to our body (which could prompt other people to say or do those things), and now they say that women and transgender people need mental help because we’re angry all the time. Screw that. They truly think we want to risk mockery at best, ongoing harassment, job loss, and physical violence at worst? They truly think this? Yeah, I think they do…because they believe the way the media has sensationalised narcissism and other personality disorders, and they’re more than ready to slap those labels on people who are saying things they don’t want to believe are true. I believe it is bottom-of-the-barrel despicable for the president of the United States to mock anyone at one or more of his disgusting ego-building rallies. His mockery is a symptom of the problems plaguing our country from the top down. Anger is important as it motivates us to keep fighting. I also dislike it when some women are like, ‘Oh, well just don’t bother him when he’s drunk’, or ‘If you had just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn’t have happened.’ Seriously! Why do they let these guys walk over them, and then blame you afterword? That is seriously demented, and if anybody says it was just nothing, that those guys were just paying you a compliment, screw that, too!
Some time in September 2018, a new supreme court justice was nominated. However, someone decided to hault the progress by testifying in front of the congressional committee. You can see the testimony for yourself.

People have a right to believe or to not believe, and that is fine. However, everyone was blaming her for coming forward after 30 plus years. But, nobody seemed to be blaming the males who came forward after 30 plus years regarding priests molesting them, like in the recent Catholic church scandal. So, if nothing else, it’s  a double standard. Some people think he’s lying and others think she’s lying. There is absolutely NO irrefutable evidence. All any of us have is her word and his word. It’s the same with Stormy. You probably don’t have any proof, it just rings true. The same goes for Roy Moore. I think one or two of those women had something happen to them by Moore. But then, all these cockroaches come out of the walls and dilute the real accusations. Cosby was found guilty, and I think that was the right verdict, but he had evidence presented in the court of law and was found guilty by his peers. Presumption of innocence is mandatory. It’s the constitution. RAINN has some pretty good information on the topic. Sometimes, this thing about treating people as innocent until proven guilty is so warped that you might as well be treated guilty until you were proven innocent. This has happened one too many times with framings and other things.
Since a lot of attention by the media is chiefly focused on the alleger, I think it is equally important to consider how the alleged person might be feeling, even if you don’t think they are worthy of consideration. If that is how you feel, then you are probably biased towards that person. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience and found it easier to sympathise. This is a huge problem in this country when one is attempting to select an equitable jury panel for a high-profile case. Although the media is free to impose upon such cases based on the first amendment, I believe there should be some restrictions to prevent the media from covering these things until a vertict has been reached and the case was at an end. Of course, no one can stop any juror from seeking information from outside sources. However, if you stopped for a minute and really thought about it, then why in the world would you expect Judge Kavanaugh not to be emotional and pissed? Just once, think of what it must be like to have someone lie about you to the world. The whole entire world. Because that’s where he’s coming from. Unless she had clear, concrete, and consistent evidence, that went all the way through, along with reliable witnesses, I cannot find any legal basis to accredit Ford’s testimony. That is not to say that I am invalidating her unsubstantiated and uncorroborated story; I just don’t see any way she could’ve won. She couldn’t tell you when it happened, where it happened, who was there, how she got there, how she got home, and who the people were at the party… well, except Kavanaugh. She could only tell you what happened, and of course, only fate knows why. So, we are to take this as the adequate burden of proof. This is America. Due process is a fundamental principle of our nation when the constitution was ratified. This witch hunt was orchestrated by the Democratic National Committee and nearly destroyed a man, his career and his family. Of course he was pissed. This stunt could’ve made him lose everything. You can say what you want about ford’s and Kavanaugh’s testimony–her story stinks to high heaven, he could’ve been pummeled with death threats, her accusations had no merit, and so on and so on. My point here is that I want to convince people to really think with an open mind and stop jumping to conclusions because of how the media portrayed a certain group of individuals.
I’ll give you another example that someone had expressed on the same platform. It was evident by this person’s demeanour towards Kavanaugh that they were influenced by information that could only be described as hearsay. What supposedly happened was that Kavanaugh had made some decisions regarding pregnant women with developmental disabilities, and how he encouraged their guardians to consider abortion. Of course, many disability rights advocates would argue that no matter how severe one’s mental capacity was, that person still had a right to speak their opinion in whatever way possible. Others would argue that it was medically necessary because the person was mentaly or developmentally unstable. My point here was that this person had gotten this story from a media source, and since they generally tend to be extremely biased, I suggested that said person call the courthouse directly and purchase an audio record of that case, so as to get the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. This article, as well as this second article do a pretty good job at explaining how we should choose our battles in life.
Now, here’s another perfect example of why we have such high standards in this country, and why it is further exacerbated by instant gratification. About a year ago, someone told me that they had read an article in which a female had consensual sex with a male, but for whatever reason, she disliked him to the point she fabricated stories in order to slander and defame his character by claiming that he had raped her. Of course, you’d expect everybody to immediately sympathise with her. Still, there are no words to express how the behaviour of so many is causing such anguish. There was a time when we all depended on our fathers and forefathers, our grandfathers, our husbands, boyfriends, or any other male-identified figure to fight for our freedom. A freedom to love, to work and worship as we please. Now to hear that our own disgusting leader flagrantly mock a somebody who had the courage to tell their story, to listen to a contemptuous crowd egg the mocker on, to basically be told that women don’t seem to matter? As you say, to daily see the way the disabled are disregarded? I just cannot fathom this.  I am not a cynic, (or I try not to be), but there are just times that sicken me.  I know that the higher power will make things right in the end, but being patient is so hard. I completely and totally agree, which is partly why I bothered writing a post about it. It’s to raise awareness. It’s to call out bullshit. It’s to let people know that this ugliness happens, and women–or at least anyone who identifies as female–aren’t going to take it silently any more. But You know what, some conservatives label liberals as entitled. The truth is, it’s the conservatives who are entitled, especially the white, straight, cisgender men. They are entitled to act and speak as they please with impunity. They have been taught from day 1 that no matter what they do, they’re at the top of the food chain, even now when they are the minority. It’s no wonder why they are feeling threatened. This country, not to mention the majority of our societies, are extremely patriarchal and male-dominated. And, part of the reason I don’t really like feminism is because although they claim to advocate for equality, the truth is that they only want to advocate for female domination, and they end up turning misandristic. So, what would happen if we had the same male gender, but of a different type? What if we had more gay men lead the nation?

Before I conclude this post, I’d love for you to all head over to Pete’s campaign and sign up to become a volunteer and a donor. We need all the support we can get if we are to help him reach the next level.
Stay safe and until next time!

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