My Favourite Things to Talk About, part 2

Ever since I learnt music Braille, I discovered a pattern in the literary Braille system as well. After I discovered this new analogy, I decided to have people perceive Braille as a table, not just as a shape felt underneath one finger or have them perceived as dots that many people assume the Latin alphabet can be written in twenty-six dots when you only need six dots total. I started to experiment on making simulated dots using Excell spreadsheets so I could better explain the concept of how Louis had it in his mind at the time. Since he was also a musician, I decided to learn the music Braille system. That itself took about two to four months to master, even though I never read it until 2011-2012 since it was Late into the year when I started, and early in the year when I began applying it to my band exercises.
The first thing I had to understand was the fact that everyone had me play music all by ear, and that I would simply never learn the notation of music. An example of that would be when the teacher asked me to copy the rhythm he clapped out to me, and I just clapped them back without knowing. That’s how it is for many people when they are learning something new. You imitate it before you get the meaning. However, like any other language, music is a language everyone can understand. I sometimes wondered to myself, though I rarely gave it a second thought, how did my fellow students know what to play when they saw it on the board? I would have needed to learn how music notation worked before I could begin to read Braille because then I would know how to associate the organisation of dots to a note value and pitch, and an added dot for the octave mark since it was not dependent on clef signs. For this reason, I thought music Braille was confusing because I didn’t know how to interpret it. Luckily, a teacher, who ironically didn’t know Braille, or at least the tactile version of it, was able to get me to read music Braille after being fascinated by the fact that music and math have a lot in common, especially with fractions. This was because they knew how to read print Braille and they were able to assist me in understanding the process in a kinaesthetic way. I was thinking, why can we not apply math concepts and use music as an analogy to veer a person’s motivation that is relevant so they can get a math concept? Same thing with Algebra and computer programming.
Here are the list of authors I have read and why I read them starting with Doctor Seus. He was the first author who I read and that I fully remembered because my mother would read Spanish books to me and I would remember those nights clearly. I had a cassette machine from the National Library Service, a branch of the Library of Congress signed by President Hoover in 1934. Then I began to read a few books here and there, starting in 2002. Usually I would read them and tell myself what I liked about that book, like this subject,such as in Gloria Rising, by Anne Cameron, I liked the idea of being an Astronaut, but I did not find a theme or a moral within those books because I haven’t learned to look out for those. Then I advanced to reading in Braille and I read Judy Blume’s book. At first I wasn’t really interested in the book in 2004 until I got the book on tape, and later, I would revisit her, including Beverly Cleary when I had access to accessible books on the internet to see if there were more books the authors wrote as opposed to what the schools had on their reading list. Sometimes I am fascinated by one subject that motivates me to look at series or something, maybe because they gave me a book in the middle of the series rather than the first book. If I am in the middle of a series I have to know what goes on next, like in the R. L. Stine Goosebumps series, I would wait for every book that came out just to finish that mystery. These are known as cliff hangers.
When I started receiving automatic-send from the library, I just decided whether or not to read the books depending on whether the title interested me, but as they say, never judge a book by its cover. I soon read Lynn Reid Banks, The Indian in the Cupboard, followed by the two books succeeding it, and the former was in our reading list. Then I read several short stories like the Ballad of Mulan from the Rewards textbook, and I enjoyed reading those a lot because it made me think. I should mentioned that in 2005, like in November, I read the Wizard of Oz, and all the books by the same author once I had access to the public domain. I read plenty of Tom Swift books. It was his wireless message to rescue the castaways of Earthquake Island, and another book I have read, that got me interested in ham radio. I didn’t really begin reading till later in 2008, but the first book I read was Tom Swift and His Sky Racer, Or, the Quickest Flight on Record. Then I read Jamie Gilson’s Hobey Hanson, You’re Weird book, but I didn’t realise I read the middle of the sequel until much later,so I read the rest when I had access to accessible books. I read E. B. White, Dan Gutman’s A BaseballCard Adventures, Andrew Clements and James Howe the Herold and Chester books, Laura Ingalls Wilder, which was a blast from the past. Then, In ninth grade, I started reading young-adult novels and revisited books that I read, which I do when I am bored. If you constantly read something, even if you already read it, you refresh your memory and you read something new that you haven’t discovered, or something that first didn’t make sense, which does now because of change in your schemas.
One reason I might have decided to move from generalised science to medical science was based on influences by Deborah Kent, a totally-blind author, and Lurlene McDaniel and other medical thrillers. One of the books I really enjoyed was One Last Wish. I was able to understand what she was trying to convey, and since then I realised that books were my friends, and I could stay up with popular culture to some extent and still enjoy listening to Western art music.
Gradually though, I expanded to reading other authors as I re-read the current books I had, and last year I managed to re-organise my books by author’s first name ascending alphabetically for easy searching, and my nonfiction library is separated by categories. This year I started learninghe the difference between young-adult and new-adult novels, and when I started learning about the principles of what it means to read something from a student’s, a teachers, a reader in general, and from an author’s perspective, all the kinds of literary devices that are out there. It was the reading that inspired me to do other things, and I would make any book recommendations to anyone who wishes to acquire the same kind of knowledge I got from reading. It is for these reasons people get close-minded sometimes, even though I observed drama in novels so bad I would be scared to read because I would not be able to keep myself from cringing, and the same applies to movies. Still, I learned that reading is a lot like having a conversation with the author or narrator. You engage in a monologue of asking questions and waiting to see if the narrator answers them. Since you and the narrator are the only two people interacting indirectly, perhaps it is not really a monologue.
I’m going to end this section with a revelation. I didn’t always listen to Western art music, though I have been exposed to it several a time. In seventh grade, when I was starting to conform to teenage life, I started to listen to the radio, and many of the songs I heard whilst in the gym I really liked because of its catchy rhythm, the lyrics, the ostinato, etc. In 2010 I was tested by a choir teacher, who diagnosed me with perfect pitch. In this context, diagnose shouldn’t be given negative connotations. After that I started to learn modern basic music theory, and I began to relearn how to play the piano. I started with oldies, but soon I found myself sliping back and back and back until I finally arrived at the olden times. So as you see, I used to be like everyone else in popular culture. My writing improved dramatically since then, and it might have to do with the Mozart effect. I soon discovered more reasons for liking Western art music than most people had as to why they primarily liked modern music. For this reason I cannot easily blend into the popular mainstream. It might be the fact that I am an old soul. Such people tend to become an empath.
So, that is all I have to say in this post, but like always, feel free to look up anything in here, and remember, everything I say can be contradicted, can have exceptions, information is based on best educated guess, and I may have forgotten to include something important long after I published this post. Merry Christmas to all of you!

My Favourite Things to Talk About, part 1

In this post I’m going to go more into depth over some of the things I did not yet cover in my earlier posts, like books I read, how I perceive Braille, how I do music, and all of that good stuff. I was also going to dedicate the first section to NASA and their research on sensation, as well.
So, first of all, I’ve been looking, as several other people have already started doing, to build a new home on Mars, after changing its atmosphere by creating factories and regulating the amount of greenhouse gasses, or possibly setting up a forest of plants. Over at I was able to partake of a week-long course that explored some of the possibilities, but I soon discovered astronomy was harder to understand than astrophysics, since I liked things that moved, rather than knowing the order of stars and the materials they are composed of. I am also interested in cosmology, knowing the origin of the entire universe. While there, I was able to learn about the sensations involved in micro-gravity, and it had me thinking of ways to simulate weightlessness on earth. NASA has been doing visual, vestibular, auditory, tactile, olfactory and gustatory-related research to help us understand why some people get more sick than others, how motion sickness could be treated with chemicals, and things like that. I proposed an experiment in which I wanted to find out if it were true that blind people could not be grossed out by a sickening image the way a sighted person would. The thing is we would have to find a way to send the image to their brains, and to see if blind people have an instinctive response, or if they have to learn how to associate it.
Once, in the year 2004, I went over to the county fair, and there, I rode a ride that I will never forget. At the time, I had absolutely no idea that I could have someone read the ride name to me and I could research it, which applies to all rides, and for this reason I am an amusement ride enthusiast. This is because I had no computer back then, yet I had a quick way of learning it later. I probably wouldn’t have ever known what the name of the ride was, except that I read a book once that mentioned the Gravitron. I decided to look it up, and by the description of the ride, it remminded me of the very ride I went on. The operator who sat in the centre of the centrifuge told me after I asked him when the ride ended what it was called, and he said it was called the Starship.
I will describe to you all the sensations I experienced and why it was that I experienced it. When I got on board by climbing a small set of steps, I ventured into the chamber, and then I walked to the right to lean back on a panel that was padded with diagonal (20 degrees) bars with gaps in between. I remember the ride started spinning anticlockwise and I knew this because my ear canals and my tactile sense was communicating that sensation I learned to associate through various repetitions. After that, I could feel the ride spinning faster and faster, until suddenly I felt like I was being forced back onto the wall and then I felt like I was tilting until I was suddenly lying back and staring up at the ceiling. This is actually false, but the reason I felt this sensation was because the centrifugal force was pulling down on the fluid found within the vestibule, located in the middle of the ear canal to give me the sensation as if I were lying on the ground, and the blood in my body was shifted downwards, as well. In reality, I was still facing the opposite wall, but without any vision I would never know.
When the ride reached its maximum speed of twenty-four revolutions per minute, I decided to sit up, thinking it would make me feel better, for I really didn’t like riding the ride lying down, or so I thought. Imagine someone sitting on a wall that is perfectly perpendicular to the ground. That is how it looked like when I sat on the wall. I should mention that when I was lying down, the feeling of spinning disappeared altogether. The purpose of the ride was to make passengers believe, based on their vision, that they are pinned to the wall and their feet are off the ground, and everything inside is spinning with them. When the wall moved on the rollers, I felt like I was being scooted back, and then forward, rather than up and down because I was now experiencing a new sensation. I could have either moved sideways or go upside down, which would have felt like I was lying on my stomach, or I could have stood up on the wall and grabbed onto the railing that surrounded the booth, but the force would have been so strong that I might have never made it and escaped the force. The operator sometimes increased the RPM to give us a higher G-load, and that’s when the panels rolled up.
Finally, after the operater timed the ride to end in eighty seconds, he slowed it down, and I began to feel myself tilting as if the whole ride were tilting me upright rather than my brain doing it. I got off, and I remember feeling a little dizzy afterword. I’m wondering what would happen if you blindfolded someone and then they went on a ride, would they have a different experience than they would have had if they saw everything?
I am also interested in knowing if vision and hearing correlate to one another. Kids are afraid of certain images, and the dark, but are they afraid of the silence because you can hear tinnitus or because your brain starts associating sounds at random? What makes some afraid of loud noise and afraid of certain sounds, including some people who are twenty something and afraid of fireworks? Is it something to do with how our cerebellum is developed? I remember being scared of a certain sound emited by a toy keyboard. It was a breeping sound that was at around 680 HZ with isochronic beats of 15 HZ, pulsating at three times per second. This happened when I was five years old. I remember this very clearly. I was learning how to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in the key of E-major. I was sitting in a small table in a small room with a tile floor. A speech and language pathologist, who didn’t know how to speak Spanish was trying to teach me how to play the keyboard, but she didn’t realise I was covering my ear because I was afraid of that sound. She thought I wanted to nap.
Later, I started having dreams in which my brain would amplify certain sounds in my dreams if I twitched the inner muscles of my ears, and I would hear a crackling or clicking sound, followed by a loud ringing at 1000 HZ. This would usually happen if my brain was warning me of an impending nightmare. When I was younger I used to sleep call once a year for two years, but I never remembered them. I later learned that the amplified sounds might be due to a feeling of going to astral project. I experienced this tingling sensation and hear a high-pitched whining or ringing once when I took melatonin, and a minute later, I felt rested as if my mind were reset even though I had only slept for an hour. It might have also been related to Exploding Head Syndrome.
BRAIN: Okay body, I am going into a really high brain activity. I need to lock you in so I can safely carry out these tasks.
BODY: Okay.
BRAIN: Oh no, I cannot seem to lock you in. We will just have to continue.
The brain maps out the following scene of a person going to the airport. The scenes change, but the movement of a person walking from the security check point to the gate are carried out in real life. The body moves from the bed to the door going out.
When the plane is boarding and everyone is seated, the body is moving to the nearest car and climbs in. The scene shifts to the time when the plane is on and taxiing for takeoff. The body starts up the car and drives out. Suddenly the plane takes off into the air and the body pushes down on the accelerator hard and the car speeds off. The sensations from both the dream and reality become mixed that the sensation of crashing becomes a feeling that the plane crashed during takeoff. When the person wakes up screaming, they will find themselves in a big mess. This is just a reminder that sleep-action happens when the brain cannot paralyse the body to not act out the movements in the dream. This is why unconscious crimes and other wrongly-accused actions are happening that many people find hard to believe.
In one of my readings, an author predicted through a story that in the 2080’s, the crude oil would have run out, and because of it, no more plastic could be manufactured, cars could not be built, planes and such would not be able to travel, and not only that, but the ice caps located on the poles of the earth would melt because of too much heating that it would flood the oceans, causing lands like Florida to submerge, forcing its inhabitants to move to higher ground, adapt, or go extinct. Many science-fiction enthusiasts would be disappointed because they thought people would have been able to do better than that. Like George Carlin said, let it all happen because “the longer we live,” he said, “the more selfish we are being to each other.” If I had to choose sides, I would neither agree or disagree. We can protect our environment so we would not die a miserable death as long as we are willing to do goodness, not just protect endangered species like those in the ocean and in the forest. “You know what they say, ‘Here today, gone to-morrow’. George once said. When I got down to discussing this, I didn’t realise there was a culture totally devoted to driving, why people like to drive big vehicles on the road cross-country, etc, rather than go on a boat or fly. To me, driving is primitive, hovercrafting is more exciting. If time were not scarce then we could do what we wanted.
That brings me to think of something. What is the origin of time? How has humankind defined that concept throughout history? Was it possible that a time system existed before the human race evolved? Could someone who invented the watch might have been a perfectionist? What about the sundial? What kind of scientists did we have before the first century in the world? Some people say there are things you just know when they ask you how you know it, but truth is you forget how you know those things because language is not innate, only sensation is. Surely time works the same way, which is why it is easier for people with eidetic, superior, and spacial sequential memories that allow them to perceive time and space together. People like we can remember things of the past, but nothing before our birth. This is known as hyperthymaesia. If someone told me it was three thirty PM when I heard my favourite PBS Kids show, I’d immediately remember that next time I heard it.
Can a learning disability be caused by lack of repetition which forces the brain to rewire itself, and not just be caused by biological imbalances or deficiencies due to a mutation or by a predetermined gene? People say it gets as narrow as knowing the building blocks that we can refer to when we are little, which is why child development fascinates me. People use month numbers for about two years to accurately measure a milestone, so we just get used to it over time and it becomes a habit. In Louis Sachar’s Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger, a mind-listener tried to perceive what was inside the infant’s mind, but all they could perceive were the emotions associated with oxytocin, endorphins, dopamin and external sensations. The language part of the brain was still not developed, so the author said it was impossible to describe in words what was being perceived, yet I know there must have been a way, because I just described it.
I’m also fascinated with hypnosis as well, though I am not sure how this will neurobiologically change your brain in the end. I could imagine having someone hypnotise you to extract information from your brain, something you would not remember. It is like you are trying to get the brain to extract hidden memories by shutting down a small portion, the part that makes us go to sleep. That’s why when they hypnotise you in the movies, they swing a watch back and forth, at delta speed. You can do this with sound or magnetic pulses and slow down your brain waves as well. Can you really erase someone’s mind, change their thinking patterns to make them not addicted to something using hypnosis? I am not sure how that would be possible, using amnaesia-like characteristics. How can psychological trauma cause the brain to get rid of certain cells that holds the information to that particular memory? Some say lightening causes memory loss if you are struck by it. I may have to do research on things like neurosteroids and how and why people use synthetic substances rather than naturally-occurring ones. The main reason is because of patenting, which leads to profits, which you cannot do with natural things. Many of these things involve manipulation of memories, creating false memories, or causing amnaesia. There was a movie some years back, “Total Recall”, which introduced the idea that you do not have to really have done something to feel that you have.

Tips and Tricks for Staying Safe on the Internet, part 2

This next part deals more with survival and regrouping on the internet. It is true that social networks allow you to establish virtual support groups and mailing lists where people can go to and talk about issues in any minority group. Like all other places, however, there has to be an administrator and or moderator to make sure trolls don’t come sneaking in and keep arguments at a respectful minimum. However, some group leaders get carried away with their power tha they start doing what they want, and they only think about themselves rather than the people in the group and consider how each person might be different in their own special way, even if they say the words that they are there. Sometimes, after a traumatic event occurs, people start blaming the administrator because they didn’t sympathise with them, saying they didn’t have responsibilities over what went on in their personal lives, and even group administrators don’t have control over who comes in because we can lie about our identity on the internet. If I were to administrate a group, I would let the people make the norms and roles, and who should do what and when, rather than having me decide. I would reach out to newcomers by making the opportunity and invite them to the group if I feel they understand the way I drive the group. Should humanity be more important than having a monarchy? What would happen if we had groups based on anarchy, without a leader, meaning everyone is their own leader? This might be hard for people from other countries who may have other beliefs than we do. Remember, if you are the victim of this trauma, it’s going to be a lot more harder for you than it is on the other people in the group. They can do whatever they want; they weren’t targeted, but they should be able to synpathise with you nonetheless.
How do we deal with predators: Everyone agrees that you should never meet anyone from the internet unless you have met the following: You have known this person and their family for more than a certain amount of time, like six months or a year. You should talk to the person via telephone and meet their family. Always meet at a public place like the airport, the train station, bus station, etc. I am sure you can think of many more things to keep you safe, but let me add some of my own tips and tricks, which include how to fight back in self-defense when blind, deaf, or disabled in some other way, how to use tactics to deal with molesters, and looking out into the future at how we can use transhuman technology to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Also, I have started the #RecordYourDay campaign, which is basically when you record your outings so you can later use that recording as evidence, provided that you legally have the upper hand in doing so.
For blind people, we can defend ourselves totally based on how things feel, and we don’t refer to our vision and or hearing to aim and strike. Many martial arts instructors train people blindfolded, though, but your average dojo probably wouldn’t offer it. If you find yourself in a physical fight, try to think about how to darken the environment, or how to disable their eyes so they wouldn’t be able to see. Once they can’t see they will be helpless unless they were trained to fight blindfolded. Consult your self-defense centre for further information. Try using lasers, improvised weapons, or just a regular old stun gun from the Safety Tech department at
There are always predators out there who would have nothing but to take their pleasure out on you, whether the person is a male wishing to prey on females, or prostitutes wishing to enhance male arousal, or somebody wanting to corrupt young minds. First of all, the best way to get rid of a male predator is to use clever tactis, act dumb, stupid and not at all interested, or pretend you have a disability. If you are transgender, you might have different feelings about this than cisgender females because you might be better at warping their minds. It all depends on how knowledgeable you are about the subject, though, and you know that you have the self-confidence to do it.
How you deal with prostitutes can be quite tempting if you are male, but one thing I learned to do was use my status to disappoint them and show them a lesson that will teach them not to mess with me. The problem with this is that many males who act as the female find themselves attracted to the role, which is commonly associated with transvestism and fetishes. Many of such individuals put their characters in perverted situations.
Ever since the history of advertising emerged into a new era of commercials, we have had people sexualising others in newspapers, magazines, on the radio, on TV, and all the Americans are doing is eating it up. This is why it is very hard for people who appreciate the older generation to break into such industries, because all they want is your body. The question is, why? What started it? It’s true that sex has become very open even though in the past we had monogamists, and we are also discovering that we need to make others aware about how to have safer sex. If we don’t put an end to hollywood and their selfish attitudes to being the number one, it will eventually get wired into our evolutionary history for future generations to come.
Having said all of this, these are just many more examples to be yourself, act the way you feel is best, but don’t go off and rub it on someone who act differently than you do because that will make them more miserable. Remember that our environment also affects how we behave, not just the culture. Also too, remember that just because it is the holidays, not everyone can be happy because they can’t afford to have a feast and buy gifts, they have lost someone special, etc. We must reach out to them and let them know that we are here for them. Remember, the key word is balance in this life. Never take anything to the extreme and always live in moderation. Don’t be too careful, for you will always have your guard up and this could lead to trouble, but at the same time, if you are not careful enough, you could wind up going backwards. Some people just take in situations way more than they are supposed to be. When a change occurs, most likely you will see people are quite ignorant about the changes because the person has no interest in the scientific community. They wonder how the changes come, and when they do, they accept this or deny it, and only then when in denial, they want change. Everything is just so “backwards” after that. We can only change if we have a positive attitude, a truly open mind and if we unite.

Tips and Tricks for Staying Safe on the Internet, part 1

When a person is asked about what it means to stay safe on the internet, some of the things that come to mind include not getting acquainted with strangers unless there are mutual acquaintances nearby so you could get references about the person you are talking to. Some say be careful about what you share, and some say do not use the internet at all. I am sure you can think of many more examples. In this post I will talk about some of the things that might help you be prepared in any situation, such as knowing the worldview of a person, knowing when to part with someone, what to do when you are parted, when to leave the internet, and more.
How to know a person’s worldview: First of all, what is a worldview? A worldview is how a person looks at life, at you, ad everything in general. In this example we will use this question, if you drink a full glass of water to half its capacity, would you say the glass was half-empty or half-full? Why or why not? To begin with, a person can say the words that they are there for you, that they are open-minded and willing to listen, even though they may not have your perception. In my experience, I tend to socialise with those who I think have the same interests as I, until I start talking about how I can use transhuman efforts to change reality. They argue that people like ourselves live in a fantasy world because they perceive reality, which is what life is. These people are known as realist to pesimist. If I have to choose, realism leans in neither direction between optimism and pessimism. I tend to stand to the left of realism and lean closer to optimism which is why I would neither say the glass was half-full or half-empty, but if I had to choose one it would be half-full. Usually you don’t realise the truth of this person until you get their side in an argument of any sort. What that argument is doesn’t matter. It could be mind over heart, good versus evil, hard versus soft science, etc. Sometimes, you can get used to talking to the person until you learn the truth about them (their true colours), and then you would be faced with a decision. Should I part with them or not? What good will come out of doing one of each?
The first thing to keep in mind is, how and why was this person made to view the world this way? I am inclined to think that we could change a person’s perception if they were willing to keep a positive outlook and we bore no ill will. I am not social, but I am not antisocial. I am simply asocial for many of these reasons, and in my experience, both socialists and antisocialists are not as smart as asocialists because they act more than they perceive. If a person with a pesimistic perception said they would like to work with others, that might be hard to imagine. I have met professional counsellors, doctors and nurses who had pesimistic attitudes, and you can tell right away that they sound and act authoritative, blunt, and impatient,and not at all caring and sympathetic. These are just some of many traits that I have noticed, though I am sure you can think of more. A lot of people get the words bragging and showing off mixed up. Bragging means you are proud of your accomplishments, can be acquired under certain circumstances, and showing off means you either consciously or subconsciously behave in a manner that represent that you are better than everybody else. Being at the top of the food chain can turn celebrities narcicistic and snobby.
So, how should you deal with these chaps? To be honest, that would be up to you to decide, but knowing whether or not you are a conformist or nonconformist will ensure that you know what to look for and how to respond. Some people start out being open-minded, but as they build a crowd of four or more people, their attitudes are changed, either to maintain their status, or because they were probably brainwashed by their peers. This is what they taught us in school–how to avoid peer pressure unless they have compelling evidence for doing so. When I discover that such an individual is pesimistic, and if they start getting heated with my opinions, and they don’t agree with me in a respectful manner, then I will not yel or bash at them using harsh words, but I will part with them with words of advice, and if they need another reminder, I’d tell them the truth about me, saying that I am not cisgender, and they should get off their computer and do something that involves serotonin production, or something that is sure to make them more right-brained instead of left-brained. I heard that some people are proud to be complete left-brainers, though. One more piece of advice: If the person you talk to thinks correcting other’s spelling is rude, you should probably end your relationship there. I encourage that you correct other’s spelling and grammar on the internet as long as you are doing it in a noble manner.
When should you part with someone: Usually, you feel the need to part with someone because you do not agree on something, or several things and you have an argument over problems that both of you would like to solve, but you have your own way of solving it and they have their own way of doing theirs. Sometimes you have to part with someone because they are annoying you and making you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes you want to part with them so they will not be able to tell you anything more hurtful. Whatever the reason, there are ways of knowing when you should do it, and how you will feel about it afterword. Remember, never be hard on yourself in thinking you are weak just because someone bashed your dreams. It is always true that when you are in control of parting, you feel triumphant and glad to be rid of that person. Sometimes, however, that is not always the case. If you get used to knowing the person and the two of you were very close and you talked about things you were interested in until you discovered that this person betrayed you and you are forced to part with them, you would feel like they were the ones who parted with you even though that’s not the case. Some people are out for revenge, others just hurt inside. Whatever it is, there is comfort in knowing that you are not alone and that there are safe havens where you can go to talk about it and to know that there are biological ways of easing off the pain, such as neurofeedback, brain wave entrainments, etc. Still, one thing remains. Never say things like, just drop this trivial nonsense without first having settled the feud, otherwise you will end up with the fact that the argument still hangs above you leading to tension.
What you should do when you are parted by someone: If you were parted by someone, you usually feel ashamed and guilty because you tried to press your point and the person didn’t listen to reason, and why that was the case you could not figure out. This section is not going to focus on what you should do if you were parted because you kept on arguing with them in a foolish manner even though the person disagreed with you. This is nearly focusing on the wise aspects of knowing that you didn’t do any form of wrongdoing. Let me give you an example. If you ask your partner if they are doing all right and they don’t reply and you keep on asking them, you obviously get worried and concerned. If your partner, however, decided to part with you in a surly manner because they felt like you were asking them too much, then it shows that they were the ones who did the wrongdoing, not you. You were simply wanting to know if they were all right, and they got rid of you because they had too much to deal with. If something like that happens, you will undergo several stages of emotions. Again, there are safe havens that you can go to, and meet other people who have gone through what you went through. It’s hard to talk to someone who hasn’t undergone the experience whether it is relevant to yours than it is for someone who has been through what you went. They will usually get annoyed and push you away because they also have frustrations of their own. Some people say harsh things to you, others change the subject. This is because they don’t have the ability to perceive others, another point I should remind all of you. You also don’t know what words to use to sum up the way you feel inside in a way that you can transmit the sensations across the internet, and again, you are worried about being humiliated. If we could peer into that person’s mind, we could feel what they are feeling and it would help us understand so we can better sympathise with them. So I ask myself, what can a therapist do that a friend cannot do? While friends mean well, they often give you their unwise piece of advice. Therapists undergo a lot of training to guide their clients into thinking positively. So, let’s just agree to disagree.
Opinions: If for some reason you and your friend can’t get along because you get on each other’s nerves about your opinions and theirs, then you should ask yourself, am I ready for their opinion? Can I know for sure it is what I want to hear because they think they know the answer when they could be wrong? They could ask you if you would like to get their opinion. If they just tell you their belief, it could be as bad as if they were constantly forcing their opinions on you. There are several ways to skin a cat. This is why we ask that you back up your opinion with other sources, references, etc, to show them why it is you say so, but this is no excuse to get heated over something and have them bashing someone else. Remember, we can learn from each other if we are willing to work together. If you were speaking at a lecture and you told the audience there was only one way of doing something, few people would understand you, but if you said that there was more than one way, the more ways of doing something, the more people would understand.
When you should leave the internet: Whether you are leaving temporarily or altogether depends on your circumstances, but you should know that retreating from the problem might show others that you are cowardly and not willing to fight back. Sometimes you have to lie to others about why you want to get away from the internet just so they don’t pester you. There are ways of remaining invisible and still talk to those whom you really trust and avoid those whom you hold at arms length. This is a moral and ethical decision you will have to make on your own. Should I lie or be honest about why I am leaving the internet? Think about why you are doing this, as well. The words may not come to you immediately, and it might take you some time to come up with just the right way of putting it. If you are afraid to face the problem from which you ran away, get allies who care for you and ask them to help you face it and fight for you. Remember, if you think your problems are worthy of listening, continue talking to a different person each time until you eventually get a positive response.
Here’s another piece of advice. Never blackmail someone just because you don’t want others to know about your experiences with the drama you were in. If you don’t want your acquaintances talking about you behind your back, you have to agree on it together. You simply just cannot make someone do what you want them to do. We just feel like we need to talk about it because it is a way of letting it out rather than keeping it all inside. There are safe ways of doing this, though. Some choose to play a game on their computer or console, especially games that involve violence just so that they can get out their frustration and anger in a safe manner while others do the opposite. The important thing is to separate games from real life. Your decisions you make in a game shouldn’t reflect those in reality, for they might have consequences. If you can’t do this then you have self-control issues, and I am sure that transhumans will find a way to fix that. Whatever the way you deal with the situation, be strong.

Regulating Nocturnal emissions for Transgender individuals

You know the day when you learn about sex at your middle, junior-high, high school, and sometimes primary or elememtary school? They cover a lot of concepts such as wet dreams, masturbation, etc. There is one thing they mostly do not cover, and that is, how this applies to LGBTQIA people. I am here to provide you with some interesting insight on what could hopefully be useful to you. Actually, some schools are incorporating that boys can have periods, too.
So, let us begin. What is a wet dream? A wet dream is a biological function found in all mammals. It occurs in the rapid-eye-movement of sleep and behaves the same way as any normal dream. Our bodies sex mechanism is active during this dream caused by testosterone, the hormone responsible for libido. This gets triggered by ideas, images, sounds, smells, touch, and internal sensations. As you know, males generally have higher testosterone than females, because their primary hormone is oestrogen. We call this stage Nocturnal emission because it happens when you are sleeping, and your brain is working your body, which is locked in place so you do not act out your dream. Some sexomnia disorders do exist. Some people who experience out of body experiences may also have sexual hallucinations and orgasms that may cause them to project.
Now that you have a general understanding of what a wet dream is and how it works, let us look at how this can apply to people who are in the GLBTQIA community. One thing to keep in mind is that people who are attracted to, or who are not attracted to the same sex, both or all sexes, or neither is the key to knowing what kind of dreams they will have.
Let me explain what happens in these cases. In biological males, the penis enlarges, hardens and becomes erect. They experience a sensation of heat surging through that area only. Biological females, on the other hand, experience a similar sensation. It begins with a slight feeling as if an electric tingle were running through their body, followed by this sensation that they want to cuddle their mate. As this intensifies, the entire body becomes heated. So, in biological males, only the penis is heated while everything is heated in biological females, and breast soreness and or burning may be felt, sometimes accompanied with hot flushes depending on age. Also, since male neurochemistry is set to plant the seed they tend to soly focus on that task visually while female neurochemistry is set to finding the best-fitting mate, and therefore are better at selecting them not only by how they look, but by other cues such as sound and smell.
For transgender folks, however, this can be quite embarrassing when a male-to- female wakes up to find evidence of their dream and they wish to find a way to reverse those dreams so that it would gradually dissipate. How do we achieve this task for transgender, gender-nonconforming, and nonbinary individuals??
1. Be aware of who you like and why.
2. Start noticing how your body responds to when you are attracted to that person. and how your mind responds to that, as well.
3. If possible, try to get away from an activity so you can let your mind become more attuned to your body. We call this process somatics.
4. Think about how you would dream about this person, and how it would feel and why you feel this way.
If you keep doing this your brain’s neurochemistry should change gradually, and soon your wet dreams should change. For the male-to- females, their wet dreams will disappear, and, since we still do not have a way of making a fully-functioning female reproductive system–we are working on it, all they might get is a surge of oxytocin and endorphins, neurotransmitters responsible for love and bonding.
For the female-to-males, they would have to learn to only feel one part of their body get heated.
We hope that with the advancement of transhuman technology, we will be able to better transmit the sensations and arousals of different sexes and genders. In the meantime, keep practicing these simple exercises and you would have slowly rewired your brain.

A New Perspective on Mental Health, part 2

These are things like this that can really help one in becoming more attuned to their mind, body and spirit so they can explain their feelings to others in a simple manner. Then again, some are afraid to talk about it because they associate it with their past that they’ve been ignored, the person changed the subject, and even sometimes experience some kind of abuse. These people aren’t caring and sympathetic enough, and it is destroying the victim even more.
Now comes the next part: The Native Americans, the West, and the East have had its view on how to deal with all these mental illnesses, and there is constant argument over this because the west say you should seek help and all that, and the East and Native Americans say that you do what is best for you. What if we found a third way, a way that hasn’t been discovered. This is what we call the alternative. Remember that the East has lots of cultures as opposed to the West, which has been taken over by Europe, and Native Americans are divided into many tribes, as well. If a scientist was to do some kind of Frankenstein-like experiment where they purposely altered their neurotransmitter and hormone production to give themselves manic depression, bipolar disorder, or something of that sort, would others consider that person a mad scientist? It depends on why the scientist wanted to give themselves that disorder. Was it because they wanted to personally experience the sensations? Was it because they were working on a cure, or both or neither? Also, why do people with schizophrenia only hear voices say negative things? Why don’t they hear them say positive things instead? In science-fiction books, these scientists turn into robots and take in victims to be experimented on. According to the laws of transhumanism I proposed, this is one of such violations because you are forcing a being(human or nonhuman) that you are going to do something without first having it explained properly before the experiment. Now we are at a point where we are starting to look at things like using an electroencephalogram, magnetoencephalogram or haemoencephalogram and other forms of computer sensors to gather information about what is going on in the brain and avoid using invasive procedures to change the structure of the brain, to open up the passages, especially after they have been crammed for a long time, or if there is no neurotransmitter present, try to bring some in. I have looked into possibly modifying a gene to see if I could identify the bad gene and replace it with a good gene. The problem with that is that it usually results in negative side effects. For what I know not. Besides, chromosomes cannot be completely replaced unless we knew of a way to utilise donor or synthetic ones.
Here, I will describe some of the common types of feeling one experiences, and how I can describe this using a minimum of technical jargon. If there is a term you don’t recognise, feel free to look it up. Let us start out with something very simple and easy to understand. When you are hungry, you know you associate the word hunger with the emotion you feel because you learned it. So every time you feel that sensation, your brain tells you and your mind knows how to resolve the problem. This is called homeostasis, negative feedback loop. You eat until you get another sensation that tells you that you are full. We say negative because you are reversing the effect, not because you are enforcing it. That’s known as positive feedback loop. Here’s another common feeling. When you have been left abandoned over a long period of time, or if you had a fight with someone whom you feel for, you have chest pains and you usually want to start bawling. In some cases, you feel like it was your fault even though you know it wasn’t. It’s because you know you want to change things back if you could travel back in time. Sometimes the chest pains can spread to your hands and legs, as well. What causes it, though? What is going on here? Well, let’s find out. When you think using ideas about what just happened, your blood flow changes, and much of the action goes into the limbic system and hypothalamus. The positive feedback loop causes a release of certain neurotransmitters that might allow the brain to send down signals that will tighten the inner tissue inside the thoracic cavity, and sometimes the inside tissue of your wrists, depending on how strong the signal is. Another common feeling is a panic attack. This one is characterised by a similar concept as the previous feeling, but it is a whole lot more intense because now you have adrenaline pumping in your system. So now the heart races, you start hyperventalating, and who knows what else can happen. Usually, however, something so frightening has to happen within your thoughts or within your environment for you to undergo such an ordeal. Sometimes hallucinations can lead to something like that, like a phobia. And finally, what about sleep. Your brain sends signals for when you are feeling tired, though it is not clear what makes us yawn. Your muscles take more energy to contract and your head usually feels heavy. After you sleep, your entire organism heals for the next day ahead, and the other part of your brain results in doing the work of your vital functions. I heard about a girl dubbed the bionic girl because of a deletion in one of the chromosomes. She does not feel hunger, pain, or sleepiness. I might talk about sleep-action in a future post, for that itself is relevant to mental health issues.
Now, how can we make sure that these feelings we experience don’t end up getting us confused into thinking we are mentally-ill? For that to occur, you have to have a prolonged exposure to some of these feelings, and usually because of simple every-day things. For instance, would you be afraid of water in general because you nearly drowned? Or, would you be afraid of balloons because the sound of a balloon popping scared you? It’s like the saying says, you’ve got to get back on the horse that you fell off of. A phobia is a little bit different, but is caused by associations of the past when you are little. The older you associate something bad, the easier it might be for you to recover from it, but the younger you associate it, the harder it would be for you to get out of it. Another example that I’ve read in fiction novels about secret, and often negative, pasts is the concept of repressed memories of horrific events such as rape or child molestation. That’s my opinion, though, and I may be wrong. To me, it seems to be because of how your brain develops so much when you are younger than when you are older. So, in a case of bipolar disorder, a neurotransmitter is either low in manufacture or missing completely. Is it serotonin? That is mainly responsible for making us feel more in moderation, which is what life should be anyway.
One describes the disorder as having the random feelings I talked about earlier come up, but this time, their minds are pulled into it. That is why some turn into elite people who feel the need to rule, to have things their way, which is like being stubborn and can happen to anyone. Actually, having such mental illness can affect how you view life and what cultures you identify with. If you convinced yourself you were superhuman and had a mental illness, you would be susceptible to doing something to make you feel that you could fly out a window; it could become potentially dangerous. That itself branches off to obsession compulsive disorder. One instance of this is called PANDAS, which is another way of saying Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections. So, when do bad habits become obsessive compulsive? Our brains have all sorts of spam filters that can remove any negative thoughts as soon as they appear. Sometimes, though, either because the spam filter itself malfunctions, or too many bad thoughts spring forth, thereby overwhelming it, people end up developing odd behaviours.
The question is, what makes us believe in the force? NO, I’m not talking about the Force in Star Wars. Is it because we gradually become used to how our brain controls us and we learn to do things that we would later feel ashamed of or guilty afterword? Then there is the question of self-injury. In research studies, it has been shown that your pain threshold can increase if you are in control of the pain stimulation, but if someone else hurt you, you will be more sensitive. This is because something in the brain prepares us, and therefore, it knows we are going to hurt our body. That is why it is hard for us to tickle ourselves. However, if you are in an episode of having this notion that something evil has been unleashed, forcing everyone in your environment to disperse, until you are alone, left to suffer, then all you can feel is the agony inside, the tightening, the extra load of energy, etc, the external stimulation would not hurt as much because you are already suffering inside. As your inner feelings subside, the pain outside willintensify and you will remind yourself that you did it. So, to bring this back into balance, we are looking at using neurofeedback technology to study how our brain is behaving at such a time. Yet in spite of all of this, a person can still have a fair amount of intelligence and can function very well in life, except that they have this extra part they have to get used to.
I am sure you can think of many more mental illnesses and many ways to associate them wwith your own set of words. There are songs, stories, and other forms of art that depict these feelings in a way the common person can understand. The problem is, language is so broad, so full of vocabulary that it is so hard to choose the right words to piece together the internal sensations, and even the external ones as well… in a way that you can tell others and have them interpret it and experience that sensation you experienced. So it’s not just your lack of diction, but it’s knowing who you are akin to. Can I tell this person? Should I take a chance? You won’t know unless you try. You are afraid that you will be humiliated, like you have been before. Self-humiliation and public humiliation are reasons why we are afraid to come back out of our shell and can make problems worse. So, let’s stop looking at the surface and really begin the ice-breaking process.
In a few days, I might go over some things NASA is covering, about some of my favourite authors and books I like to read now and then, about my new way of seeing Braille and more to come before the end of 2013. Due to computer issues I’ve been having over the last few weeks, I am not sure if I can get my radio server up and running in time, but I will keep working on it. One more thing to note, I learned that what the thing I was going against was called the dowry. A piece of advice: Making sure you respect someone’s culture and at the same time help them fight for equal rights is a complicated conversation to have. Having said that, good luck on all your transhuman journeys.

A New Perspective on Mental Health, part 1

In the last two posts, I dived into some concepts of mental health issues and what steps we could do to understand them better. However, I was fortunate to learn about organisations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness ( and the mental health first-aid that are hoping to revolutionise the lives of those suffering from any crisis using things like neurofeedback and other forms of therapy. How long ago has it been in human history that people built asylums for the insane? Who was the first person to come up with the concept of mental illness? Through the readings, it was discovered that an understanding of how mental illness worked is still a mystery, the way cancer and heart disease were in the early 1950’s and 1960’s. It is such a complicated array, with what the brain hardly being researched and all, that it makes things challenging. We are taking the wrong paths to treating these victims and are doing them more harm than good with all those chemicals that claim they can balance out the hormones and neurotransmitters. However, in order for us to know what a particular drug will do to the brain, the pharmaceutical industry depends on killing innocent creatures to find out what it did. When they get enough people willing to participate, then they perform clinical trials on the subjects. If it is successful, then they call it a good day.
I began to think on possible alternatives on how we could begin changing. The first thing to understand is how mental illness works in the first place. What is it caused by. Is it voluntary or involuntary? What are the motivations to having a person behave this way? What about language that they can use to transmit the way they feel to someone who has never felt the sensations they have?
Let us begin with how mental illness works. Mental illness is characterised and diagnosed by observation, evaluation, inventory and question banks, and aren’t usually diagnosed by using biological markers the way they would do in the case of body illnesses, such as heart or liver conditions. What is a disorder? A disorder can mean several different things. In an earlier entry, it was explained that rewiring the brain, intentionally or unintentionally, can cause a disorder. It is not just based on how one was born. That’d be more like a traumatic brain injury of some sort. For instance, I read a book by David Melton called A Boy Called Hopeless. It is set in a real place called the Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential.
There are several different kinds of mental illnesses out there that branch out in the psychiatric field. Science has not yet determined a definite cause for a lot of mental illnesses, though one theory that stands out is the history of the illness. In my last post, I talked about how, if your grandparents were abusive, there is a chance that you would too. The same could happen with mental illnesses. One could willingly go insane because of a traumatic experience, and the future offspring can have traces of that, like some sort of foreign instinct. This is probably because the genetic code containing the instructions on hormone and neurotransmitter production was rewritten. However, people can suffer a mental crisis even after living a normal life. This is probably because they faced a traumatic event that forced their thought patterns to change the way their neurotransmitters and hormones were being produced. There are tons of traumatic events that one can associate to present-day occurrences, and that can lead to all kinds of phobias and forms of paranoia. I am curious to know if there is a gauge that can tell you how fear is measured, or how it can be more sensitive to one person but not another. Also, what is a traumatic event? Something that you interpret as having a major effect on how you perceived the information that was sensed by the brain. It is because of how those events were carried out that your subconscious mind literally protected your conscious mind. Sometimes we have nightmares about these events because of the fear we are faced with, yet dreams are composed of the brain’s confusion and starts mixing cells in odd structures. This is known as the study of oneirology. So, most of these are associated with stress, anxiety, and depression (SAD). People who have suffered trauma often deal with flashbacks, which is grounds for diagnosing post-traumatic stress disorder. And, in some cases, a C is added to mean complex PTSD.
At this time, it is hard to say if a mental illness is voluntary or involuntary, in other words, can you will yourself to have bipolar disorder, or will a mutation cause you to have it? Can it happen because of the lack of nurture you were given after birth? A mutation is when instructions are not properly read by the body and the sequence ends prematurely, otherwise there has to be a genetic host. For that matter, can a person with bipolar disorder will themselves to be normal by forcing their brain and body to listen to their mind? Would a person even want to? I once asked someone that if there was a cure to their disorder, would they go for it? Why or why not? Surprisingly, they said they’d never want to be normal. If they did, they would be more freaked out at having a new life than the old life that they have come to know since childhood. This applies to many other people who have learned to cope and embrace their disabilities as part of their identity. I don’t see myself as a blind and hard-of-hearing person. I see myself as a person who is physically unable to see and uses residual hearing to communicate along with supplemental devices. People feel like they are compelled to bond with the divine power that forced them to have this disability. It is like their destiny was planned out. Surprisingly, however, I broke away from this power.
Many people, regardless of what language they learned, or if they learned any language at all, can feel the way they feel inside their head and in their body, and they know how to respond to these kinds of sensations, like throwing a temper tantrum, crying, laughing, or just sleeping. I am sure you can think of more that do not require the interpretation of language. We assign words to these sensations so we can relate to similar words and sensations, how we ended up feeling this way. Some of such examples include, fire-like sensations, cold-like sensations, intense pressure, tightness, emptiness as in boredom, overwhelmed as in your head and body is overheating, etc. Usually, however, a person can regulate the way they feel, but if their feelings were altered without the control of the mind, then it is due to a change in production, so we try to figure out where the flaw is so we can fix it and make the person well again. The good news is that we are totally flexible, though there are some things that can’t be rewired, like undeveloped structures. That would need some kind of stem cell treatment.
How can language help in the understanding of mental illness? If we know how a word is precisely defined in terms of demographics, there is a chance that we might be able to put ourselves into the shoes of those living with mental illness. Do mood swings happen gradually, or do they happen suddenly? Some people can be angry one second and calm the next. This is known as impulsive action because you act based on how you feel, not think on how you feel before you act. If you keep your feelings bottled in, they will build up and up until you explode like a soda bottle, so it is always best to write them down and or talk to someone in words that are meaningful to you. It may be hard for others to understand. It’d be like transmitting sensations across the internet or something like that just using words. Your brain has to use the already visible sensations you learned to associate with language, and use those to piece together a new and somewhat good replica of what the person is feeling.
I once asked to someone if a person dreamed of having a completely usable body of a different sex. In their dream, they’ve experienced all the sensations that person would have as someone in their new role, and that they exclaimed that it was shocking and very different. The question then becomes, how does our brain know what something feels like internally and externally if it has never been present or exposed to it in its life? Could it be something found in the cerebellum or brain stem, the most primitive? What about before we were born. Did we have memories of our other lives written? What about afterword? In any case, I asked a female person what their sensations were like, and surprisingly I was able to relate theirs with a dream I had about my being in a female’s body. In this particular dream, I was experiencing what it was like to have oxytocin released into my system. What made me suspect that I was to learn was the fact that female neurochemistry allows them to experience a cuddly sensation more than males. When they told me this, I was taken aback, for I have felt those very sensations and I could definitely relate to them. Female neurochemistry is set to finding the best-fitting mate while the male neurochemistry is primarily set to focus on planting the seed.

Musings and Personal Experiences of Cultural, Relationship and Social Issues part 2

All of this intrigues me, but no one would make the mistake of saying I am omniscient because that would be impossible.
Recently, I was in an argument involving rules of the Hmong culture. The person in question is living in Western society, which was taken over by the Europeans hundreds of years ago. It made me feel that this person was being condemned to their own culture because they had to abide by the rules set by elders thousands of years ago. I feel that this person should do what they feel is right and wrong. Are morals and ethics innate or learned? Again, it is a combination. It should not be based on culture, but rather, it should be based on human customs and traditions.
I am a believer in naturopathic medicine and in somatics. I learned that counselling is really only half the equation. Somatics is a form of alternative medicine that allows a person to temporarily change from being left-brained to being right-brained by applying exercises that involve intuition. It will make one feel less depressed once the neurones start communicating steadily. Here is how I see depression.
The symbol of Depression:
Imagine the thinking area of the brain as a large landscape with several islands in the middle of an ocean. Across each island lies a bridge so that one may cross the ocean to get to the other island. The islands represent neurones, and the ocean represent the synapse, or the gap between one neuron to another neuron. The bridge represents the neurotransmitter. There are different types of bridges. And certain things can flow in certain directions.
In the case of depression, most of the bridges that allow fast-moving traffic collapse, leaving the ones which withstand slow-moving traffic remaining. Now traffic has a limited number of options to get from one island to another. This keeps happening until all but one bridge collapses, leaving the traffic stranded on certain islands. Now, that one bridge that did not fall, there is still a bit of traffic going through, but it can get to only one place, until it starts crowding the other members. This keeps happening until that whole island is occupied and cannot withstand any more people.
This is how thoughts get crowded into one or few neurones, when the cell runs out of space, the brain becomes slow-moving and this leads negative thoughts to travel down the one bridge that did not collapse. Negative thoughts are represented by traffic with frowns painted on the auto or whatever that was coming through it. The positive thoughts have smiley faces painted on them. It causes certain depression hormones to be released, and This process is known as mental-imaging, a technique psychologists use to help patients recover from major illnesses like cancer. I believe that rest-and-repair hormones are our body’s natural medicine that helps us heal faster. So, the way we can get that happening is if we were nurtured while we were sick, if we slept more, etc. Actually, it has been shown that certain healing chemicals are released during sleep.
There is only so much room for these things to move around, so we need to build more bridges that collapsed, so that these thoughts can resume flowing from one island to another island. So, the bridge which stands fast-moving traffic is the one that supports happy and positive thoughts because things just move so fast. The bridge that supports slow-moving traffic is the one for negative and more solemn thoughts.
Now, here is how I look at genes. I believe that genes are like the blueprints to building a house. When someone follows these plans step by step, they will have a well-built house. But let us suppose the house needed some bits and tips to help it adapt to the environment. These changes are added to the plan. The next thing you know, the same plan is passed onto the next builder, and they, too, develop that same house. Then they also have to make adaptations to help it survive in that climate. They make these changes in the plans. Keep this going until you have a combination of plans going. Some people will choose to build their house out of two plans altogether. But, let us say that something went wrong. When the house was finished, it had flaws that could not be fixed without tearing the house down and rebuilding it. But what went wrong? Were the instructions messed up along the way? Did the plans get wet and somehow we skip something? Or did the builders forget to read something important? Maybe it was the development of the wood.
And that , my friends, is how I believe genes work. If someone tells you that your imperfections has unknown origins, it probably means that your body overlooked the directions. I do not think science should give up in finding these. The good news is that we can actually rewrite our genetic coding with gene therapy. Some studies suggested that if your grandparent was abusive, their hormone levels were going to be written into their genes, some of their muscular memory, or their sense of evil altogether. There is a chance that you would get those same feelings. Somatics can actually rewire your genetic coding in a way that nothing else can.
When we were little, we did not care what our playmates identified with. We did not know if they were coloured, Christian, was scary, fat, or smelled, and yet, over time we end up learning it because of the way our society is based. We simply did not know this because we did not know the language, we did not know the concepts to differentiate, but now we need glasses, deodorant, clothes, medicine, one book, and specific cultures to identify with. We are all like animals, it is that simple, really. But why has this become a major concern? Because of the European movement and because of things that increased as things developed over time, like Western civilisation. There were all kinds of revolutions that took place; some good, some bad, and some neutral depending on their intentions. As I said above, we give ourselves these labels and titles so we can group up from the rest of the majority because we face rejection elsewhere. This way we can fight back as one force. Also, what makes blind people feel that they were created to be blind for a reason? I feel that the sighted population is taking too much advantage of its vision, and I think children need to be taught a lot more sensory experiences so that they could learn how to navigate in a dark house when there is a power outage. What makes a person scared of the dark? Are the feelings innate or learned? Can some people be afraid of the silence? I remember being afraid of certain noises myself, not because they were loud, but because of their sinister sounds. Why, if you close your eyes, the activity in your visual system stops and the activity will take over your temporal lobes. That is why, when we kiss and dream we close our eyes. I wonder how people can see in the dark like cats? Sometimes, when I move my hand in front of my face, I can either feel the heat radiating off my skin or I can become aware of something inside my head moving, but this is just a cognitive response. It allows us to be more intuitive. It is just one more reason to believe that sight and sound is a lot more relevant than what we imagined.
I was recently involved in a discussion about learning disabilities, and I was trying to find ways to understand, by using science, what it is like to constantly face someone correcting your spelling when you can’t help it, or how hard it can be to explain some things. If we know more we can find a cure. Some people say that science can only do so much, yet it would not be fair to overwrite a person’s mind with another that was uploaded. I heard somewhere that scientists stimulated the left side of a person’s brain, and it was someone who was terrible at math. After the stimulation, though, things were more clear to them. I personally think this could have good potential in transmitting missing information to the end-user. It could help caregivers and people willing to learn a new sense without undergoing invasive surgery. While we were discussing this, it occurred to me that bragging, boasting and showing off are seen as offensive in our culture, yet I am only being myself, and that is what I am trying to get across. I believe in coping with the harshness of reality, and dreaming of ways to make it better. How can some people be so mature in terms of knowledge and wisdom, and not show off at the same time? I tend to subconsciously flourish my skill skills and abilities because I want to show them that I am no different than anyone else, and that I want to show them that although I am myself, I feel compassions for those who need it. There may be more reasons for this, though, but it is hard for geniuses to deal with.
The concept of how everything derives is interesting. Anthropology is such a broad field that it allows you to know about the whole world. Someone told me that I already have one of the skills, as someone who writes and documents everything that happened so that I could go back in time in my journal and diary. I was interested in learning about the development of names to living and non-living things, how the common and folk names derived from Latin, Greek and other language-based names. The concept of idea is also fascinating. Ideas are infinite and are based on both language and sensation. Scientists cannot tell you what you are thinking, but they can sense what you are perceiving or doing. Louis Sachar wrote this in his ‘The Cardturner’ novel, and I am fascinated by the idea of synchronicity, for I have experienced it a wide number of times. We as humanity are able to be fully self-aware, and we do not even need to see ourselves to be self-aware. Blind people can feel themselves, they think, therefor they are who they are. We can mix several concepts together to make a whole new concept, like two and two makes four. But that is just a rule that derived like everything else. All of this gets written into our code, the feelings that makes things feel familiar. Sometimes I wonder if there was another system of time that creatures used before the human race evolved.
That brings me to a new topic. I was thinking about combining two different animals of different sexes and see what happened. My belief is that creatures evolved when say, for example, humans derived from a combination of apes and monkeys. Kind of like what happens when you combine a horse and a donkey, though the offspring turned out to be sterile.
A few weeks ago, there was an internet troll who was making rude insults about the blind community, particularly targeting women in the community because of their lack of security. I thought about using hard science to stop the drama instead of the obvious. Why, I heard of people who were proud to be completely left-brain, but that usually means trouble. What I find interesting is how we know how our brains work when we are using our brains to think.
Having said all this, how can we assure our friends that they should be more open-minded and more aware? How can a traumatic event make us act the way we do? Definitions should include more broader terms on an intersectional stance instead of focused ones. Why do some people feel like they are being thrust into groups when they do not want to share their stories to strangers? It hurts to say goodbye to someone that was so close to you. A friend, partner, a trusted one. To go from love to in love, in love to love, and friends to strangers is painful, but what also hurts is not knowing why. Why was not my friendship acceptable or maybe unable to accept it I do not know. To say goodbye to someone so close and dear only to have this book placed back on the shelf collecting dust once again while the market opens up eventually.
One of the things I was made aware is how families and friends differ. People say friends are temporary and families are forever, yet some feel like we did not have a real family. I think friends and families should be both forever, but friendship changes as you get older, as I have said. Every family differs in its unique way. They are more than just people that relate to one another, and again, we learn this when we are little. We learn who our family members are and how they are related using language, yet science says that babies recognise their mother’s voices. I wish that there were a simpler way of understanding your harritage using a family tree and using simple concepts until you have a good understanding. However, some families either abuse the person who is different or shelter them. When I meet perfect families I envy them because I feel so akin to them than I do to my own. For instance, I was visiting a musical family and I instantly felt at home. This is because my mother has to constantly look after my deaf-blind and developmentally-disabled older brother and we hardly have time for each other. There is also the fact that we identify in so many different ways. Some people are taught to keep to themselves instead of getting involved in support groups because they do not want to admit that they are different; they just know that they have to do this or that because if they did not they would suffer tremendously.
Enough with the gloomy mood. I hope that those who misunderstand me can realise that I am just like they, that they can forgive me. We all feel the need to be better than other humans, but it is for the way that you provoke one’s thoughts that does it. That is to say, there are many reasons why I am this way while they have very little reasons as to why they are this way. In writing I am able to say so much because of the way I am detached from my family most of the time. I recently got a Mason and Hamlin pump organ, a classic I believe, and I got it restored, but sadly, some of the reeds are starting to shrink. It is sad that very few people today know how to really restore organs, though I am thankful that those who are still around are teaching young enthusiasts like myself how to do it. I have started an internet radio stream here on my Icecast server. I will be airing this upcoming holiday season. In my next post I will talk about my problems with screen readers.

Musings and Personal Experiences of Cultural, Relationship and Social Issues part 1

Well, it’s about time I posted, so I thought I would give some update on some of my outreach efforts I have been conducting. I was recently involved in a relationship conflict that was long-distant and had different cultural identities, gender being one of them. I am not from Mars. I am not from Venus, yet I have full awarenesses of the two because I am from EARTH, for that is where we are all born. I must admit that I tend to lean more on Venus than earth. I feel that, as human beings, we need to categorise in so many ways to find others to relate to our own kind. That is why culture exist. It is not necessarily based on geographical ancestry and ethnicity, but there are cultures devoted to how our brains are wired to do things we do, whether that would be because of nature or nurture, such as science culture.
It is important for people to realise that it is okay to believe in whatever they want, and they can express their opinions about what they do as long as it is in a positive way. Some people feel they are not decided into their religion, but they believe in symbolic representation, and they do not go around preaching their views on things based on how they identify. Some ways you can fully identify with an active, dying, or dead culture, majority or minority-wise, born–based or inclusive, is how much it interests you or how much of it you are taught while you are being raised, which is based on the things you like in general or what you are forced to do, which is determined by your and your family past, whether that would be genetic or acquisition. Remember that genes are things that we instinctively feel, and thoughts and language are learned through experiences. Even people, like Helen Keller, had thoughts before they learn sign language. Sometimes the way our brain is wired from birth, based on autism spectrum disorder models, people can fall into these extremes. There is little we can do for them at this time, and even if they are open-minded, they do not like it when other people try to lure them out of their traditions. Also, we must understand the terms clans, migration, emigration, immigration, etc and see how difficult it can be for a lot of us based on these characteristics. However, in a lot of Eastern cultures and Western Native-American culture, etc, they can be hard to learn because many of their fundamental principles were set thousands of years ago. They are mostly ignorant about the advances in science and technology, about the current issues we have in Western society, and they do not know how to deal with people who have life-long conditions. However, I feel that people are condemning themselves to being slaves within their own culture. I feel that we should do things based on how we feel is right and wrong, not listen to rules set by superstitious leaders. How does cultural assimilation and brainwashing differ? It is okay to love your culture, but remember that it is how you behave that will directly impact those around you. Language is what we learn so we can express the feelings we acquired based on our genes. For instance, sometimes I feel I was born in the wrong time period, the wrong place, and things like that, yet I know I want to simplify some aspects of life and advance others. Like simplifying music and advancing art.
Here is some of what I believe based on the hard and soft sciences. I believe there is a reason why I am the way I am today. It was because I am the kind of bookish person who reads anything that appeals to me. I am investigative, wanting to know how and why things happen the way they do, and how they came to be. I have researched constantly over the last years when it seems that a few years ago I have read things from history, and when I was back in school, the teacher’s lecture were hard to interpret, but when I learned it kinaesthetically it made a lot more sense. I also read modern young adult novels, and it helped me learn about teenage gossip that I could never take part of because of my sensory disabilities. I am sort of like Ray Charles, Beethoven and maybe a famous scientist all in one.
Indeed the way I present my linguistic trends may be associated with some people in the American English language, and people like me cannot socialize with the mainstream crowd because of the many reasons I explained above, yet many are quite ignorant and criticize us because of our lack in partaking of with our peers. However, when we do find a culture that we feel akin to, we automatically open up and start sounding like those who like to talk, but our atmosphere is a lot different because we are not worried about what we look like to gain popularity (common in popular culture).
Ever since the experimentation with technology in the 1950’s to produce electronic tones and noise after success with recording acoustic sounds on a wax cylinder, vinyl record, , the cassette, the CD, and now digitally, the same was happening for the instruments known as synthesisers. Many were terrible at producing the sounds that we dreamed of hearing. We want to hear that rich dark tones of instruments instead of the bright and harsh sounds we are forced to hear. And we also like deep resonance that angles out from all sides instead of having it come from one speaker or through headphones into your ears. The question is why? Why did we have to experiment with such things? That is one of the most difficult things to understand. When people rebel against certain standards, they get noticed by society and they draw attention to themselves. People are now trying to sample out recordings of real instruments and make them sound like the real thing, but it is not the same thing as really playing the instrument. Now, these instincts, tastes and preferences may be transferred from genes. For example, half of my family is Italian. I do not know if that is associated with their culture, but what I learned is that nature (innate) is how and what we feel, and nurture (learning) is what we think based on what and how we feel. For instance, I was used to eating very slowly, and this can be related to the Itallians because they eat very slowly when they have guests, or, it might just be a blind thing. That is why the majority are thin. They are very big on nativity scenes, and this might explain why music comes naturally to me, even though neither side of my family was musically-inclined. How can genetic markings determine your ancestry? Many scientists argue over this. Is there something relating to the tuning standards over time regarding one’s vocal range?
Eventually, as the labeling of composers to artists changed to albums and singles, the music started getting more popular because of its lack in compositional complexity. It was sort of like how Jazz music was almost always improvised. The so-called Rock-and-roll music did have a style known as the verse, chorus and bridge. A historian would interpret that as the ABA trinary I think is how it is referred to.
After that, the music did not start following sequences because many were singled out over time, and people started categorising the music based on its rhythmic patterns, on its form, and many other things. As technology advanced from analogue to digital, something known as auto-pitch correction was experimented with, which allowed non-singers to sound like a pro. This, as you might expect, gained wide popularity because you could do a lot more experimentation. That is the major factor that we as humans cannot seem to shake off is how wide we can experiment. The sky’s the limit.
These forms of experimentation can get so addicting that it literally wires our brains despite the consequences it will have on our way of thinking and feeling towards ourselves and others in whatever society we are in. Is there a way to still appreciate those songs but not have them sound so electronic either in instrumentation or vocalisation? Some studies show that crimes can be altered by playing music that would lower down flight-and-flight hormones and stimulate rest-and-repair hormones. This makes me wonder, how were crimes committed in the past? Were they more focused instead of random? What made them happen? Lack of nutrition, drugs?


Hello, everyone. It has been a while since I posted, and I thought I
post some new material here. Please note that the disclaimer is still the same, and that everything I say may be hard for you all to read, so take your time. I constantly keep editing this and changing this before deciding to post this on the web for all to see. I have written this after facing several problems in which I had to fight on my own and with the aid of allies.
First of all, I would like to start by saying that over the last few years, when I became more sociable, I seemed to have no luck than I had hoped for. I was hoping the recent opportunities at the school for the blind would help, but since then, things were going up and down like a roller coaster. I had to leave the blind community because they got too involved in areas that didn’t interest me as much as I thought it would. You see, when I was young, I was trained to use technology that would help me get the information I needed for learning. However, I had the skills and ability to learn things quickly and to experiment with object manipulation and organisation. It was this advanced knowledge I had that made my teachers expect me to pursue a career specialised in information and computer technology. But, one thing that was never manifested was my strong interest in science. It wasn’t the fact that I was interested in chemistry or physics or astronomy and things like that, but it was the fact that I wanted to see hands-on explanations on how and why things happened the way they did. So, I ended up shifting career goals. Towards the day of my impending graduation in 2012, I decided to take Anatomy and Physiology because I thought it would be neat to learn the ins and outs of the human body. Little did I know that it would have a huge impact on my future outlook. When I started approaching blind people in the community, I discovered that many of them fell into a stereotype that involved learning all they could about web-designing and making websites accessible, computer-programming, audio-editing, and criticising others because of bad quality even though that person might not be trained to recognise those differences. These are done primarily by people in the brogrammer culture, though it’s usually not limited to that specific trade. If you asked a guitar virtuoso how they did something you found really amazing on their instrument, they’ll most likely tell you to buzz off and figure it out yourself. Many blind people also run radio shows on the internet, and they also have their own vocal and non-vocal habits. Then there is the other side of the coin where you have blind people studying psychology, sociology, and mathematics. I have almost never seen (no pun intended) blind doctors, engineers, or research scientists. For a while I tried to conform to some of these habits but soon got so overwhelmed with how techie they got over complicated operating systems and things of that nature that I had to retreat, but they seemed to imply that I was expected to know what they were talking about… fast. And, just like with the rest of the mainstream, they are mostly into popular culture while I am into art culture. I find the fact that a lot of blind people only wish to be able to see so that they can drive. To me, driving is the least of my concerns because it is very boring and primitive as opposed to boating, submarining, flying, going into space, etc. Those other things are a lot more sensational while the act of steering a machine across a maze is a lot of work but very sensationless, although not visually since you will be able to see what is around you as opposed to what you will feel. That is why I never say that I want to see because I want to drive. I give other reasons that are far more important than just the obvious.
I also have a problem with disability-related agencies and organisations that want you to transition by pressuring me into taking big steps that I am not ready for. And, like most professionals, they get impatient because they want to get results from you now. Impatience is wrong, in my opinion, and I think almost anybody will agree. They are great manipulators. According to a book called White Coat, White Cane, there are two kinds of people. Those who are caring, and those who are manipulative. That does not come to you until you start to think hard. Then you suddenly realise that you are being brainwashed and pressured to succeed. They are afraid that if you wait too long, you will eventually lose interest in your transition and get distracted or procrastinate too much that you will hardly reach your ultimate goal, whether it is graduating high school and going to college or joining the work force. If you take too much of a big step before you are ready, you will most likely fail. So I take small baby steps by being strategic, making a time-line, etc and motivating myself to stick to those guidelines. Some people are advanced than others, and they can afford to take bigger steps. This works with any kind of transition, though. For example, in the LGBTQIA community I recently joined, many people seemed to like taking big steps and being hyper-masculine or hyper-feminine. But, I believe that a successful transition requires baby steps.
So, that is why I am no longer going to go to places that say they are inclusive, but really, they are not. They want you to believe in their philosophy right away. I will still be allies with the blind community, though, but I will NOT identify as one of them because I have other things that are important to me. That is why it is very hard to persuade a blind person from the blind community, or any other person from a disability-related community, that if there were a cure for that disability, would that person go for it? Most people will answer in the negative. The reason they say no is not because they say that this is who they are. That is just a cover-up so that they can distract that person from asking that question again. But the real reason is that it is because they will lose that place in the community. They are afraid that if they acquired that ability they would find other things that interest them and they would abandon the community. Religion also plays a major role in this as well. Every form of human evolution has some sort of superstition, belief, custom and tradition. This comes from deep within the roots of language development. They don’t want to lose the privileges they had as a disabled person in that group. It has developed into an identity of who they are as a person, and they believe that they were meant to be this way. However, people can be trans-abled, or transracial, as well. So, it wouldn’t surprise me if someone sighted said they wanted to be blind and vice versa.
I really feel that those schools I went to should have provided more than the obvious, and I will be going back to change somebody’s life. It just seems queer how they are fully unaware of the different social issues even though they’re right underneath their nose. Yes, there are awareness days on anti-bullying, but that’s for elementary and middle-school people, mostly. But when you’re adults, you are the one in charge of everything that goes on, but not enough is being done to raise more awareness about it, not even at places where they encourage you to socialise. But here’s the problem. Because of the fact that I was not knowledgeable about my hearing loss or how I could hide it because I was so self-conscious about people looking at my hearing devices, I learned there were ways of hiding it. And even then, I didn’t know why it was that I didn’t like wearing my aids when I was little. It was because it was too bulky and because it exposed me and added a sign that said, “A blind and deaf person is here”. It’s okay about blindness because your cane tells you that and there is no problem with language when you are blind, although I did hear that, just like with any culture, there are some linguistic trends and habits among blind people. But when your hearing weakens, it makes a huge impact on one’s language skills for those of us who are pre-lingual. But those who are post-lingual like me will have to adjust. Also, I can’t stand the fact of having someone speak up to me and sounding annoyed because of it, even though they are not trying to sound mad intentionally. But the thing is I’m more with emotions than with logic. I have personally experienced internalised ableism by some blind people because they didn’t understand the challenges of someone with blindness and a secondary disability.
I love Western Art music. It’s part of the Mozart Effect I’ve experienced. Because of this, I sheltered myself in a place where I could only escape with by reading children’s books, young-adult and new-adult novels, most of them realistic and fictitious. They were also primarily chick lits, as well. I could virtually experience just about any environment I could imagine and gain real experiences that made it seem as if I were the one who experienced them, not the characters, by living vivaciously. This is why, and because I research things every day that I constantly adding to my knowledge. And sometimes I wonder to myself, does being so intelligent play a role in identity issues? It is because your developed personality, tastes and preferences do not match the required expectations based on what and how you should behave. So, now I know how to be true to myself. Sometimes I feel like I need to correct others even though I see it as helping, not criticising or attacking. They just feel like they can’t compete with me, so they need to hide it by putting a shield around themselves to hide their vulnerability. I know some people who have been sheltered against their own will, and because of this, they are afraid to get out and socialise. The reason for why we are sometimes sheltered or we shelter ourselves is due to fear of self-imposing or losing something. If say, perhaps, we sheltered ourselves from doing something, it is because things do not appeal to us and it takes us a while to find it. This prevents our ability of building foundations to create a self-confidence power within our own being so that we can succeed in life. We will obtain very little of self-related powers, and we will develop other-related powers. We are now afraid that if we do something wrong, we will fail and we may feel guilty about it. We avoid from taking risks because we are afraid our lives will end short. We endlessly fear failing and humiliation. With disabilities this can also be seen, as well as how much knowledge we and our families possess, and which cultures we originated , etc. If our family shelter us since postnatal development, we will develop too much other-related powers and almost zero self-related powers. Our family is afraid that if we fail, it will be their fault. They feel responsible because of their overprotection. If we want something, they will not understand our desires. They prevent us from being ourselves. We are afraid to fight back because we lack this self- related power. We need allies to support us so that we can be set free. It should be noted that it will be very difficult for us the longer we wait to develop these self-related traits. If this continues, we are far more likely to be depressed… to lose hope of ever succeeding, and certain areas of our brains will fail to receive the development it should have received. Sometimes, we shelter ourselves without even knowing it. Our subconscious mind protects us at times, such as when traumatic events occur. We are afraid that if we stay out of it, we will be safe. So, as you can see, too much selfishness and too much selflessness do not go together. We need to move back into the middle. That is why I am hoping that we can speed up the process of developing self-related power by stimulating the areas of the brain and perhaps by regrowing undeveloped structures. If you always get what you want you are a spoiled brat. You are more likely to be satisfied with life’s contents and you will be selfish and greedy, but at the same time you may not be able to totally be self-confident. These kinds of people are more likely to be nerds of some sort. The human system can never be finely tuned into just intonation like a piano. Only robots can be made perfect. But what if we found a way to make transhumans perfect and still make them humans? Not at all like posthuman cyborgs. Part of this refers to the rope theory, in which how much or how little tension you give on your children whilst raising them. If we are given total freedom since postnatal development, we are more likely to develop odd personalities. If we are totally confined we would turn bitter and cold, or we may lose hope. But if the tension is right, then it is up to you to develop your personality. We are all tempered in many ways. Can either sheltering yourself or being sheltered against your own will make a person open or close-minded? It has just occurred to me that humans can never be justly tuned, but we can be tuned to equal temperament. Right now, humans are tuned to all sorts of temperaments, and this is one of the reasons why we are unable to get along with one another. But if we equally-tune humans, we would be more understanding than we were before, and it is the closest to being perfect. This is not junk science, by the way.
Due to the way that we become sheltered, we are afraid that we will say the wrong things at the wrong time while we socialise with our fellow peers and mess up the conversation, which make us look like we are making a fool of ourselves. This is the prime cause for worry when people told me to self-advocate and speak up for myself whenever my needs weren’t being met. I learned that I was a fearless advocate for others. It’s like a mother protecting her young. She’ll do everything to protect them, but when the enemy corners her, she’d barely have any energy to defend herself. The blows aimed at me seem less personal whenever it involves someone else, but when they attack me, I just crumble to the ground. Later, I learned that this was very typical behaviour in women, but to see that behaviour in a person who was conforming to a male genders was definitely mind-boggling. Brene Brown has a lot of stuff relating to shame and vulnerability.
Someone on Twitter suggested that I take some autism spectrum and Asperger tests and I scored in the neurotypical category because I share very little tendencies that were most likely attained through nurture’s doing, not nature’s. This includes, strong focused interests and obsessions, excellent smell, taste and touch, seeing the world differently, remembering things others would not, see patterns that others do not see, and our ability to understand others because of our open-mindedness. We also feel we need to express and judge things and people publicly regardless of what others say and not making fun of that person at the same time. It can be bad in some ways because it makes society see us as weirdos, as I will explain below. It is hard for us to socialise and to find a partner we like. For me it is easy for others to understand that because of my hearing loss, everything sounds like mumbling to me because certain sounds are digitally-processed rather than acoustically received, assuming I was wearing my hearing aids. Some frequencies have to be transposed in order for me to know if there is an S, an E,or something along those lines. If the frequency is too high, it might just sound like a pure tone or mmm sound. Also, I do not get why some people with these kinds of mental illnesses cannot describe things in great detail. I find mental and chronological age very fascinating and I would like to do some research in that field.
People are constantly rushing me to get this done and do this and that, so they can quickly see results about what I am doing. They want to see everyone’s self-confidence and esteem inflate. But I just learned that I am more comfortable with other confidence and other esteem. I believe that if I had real friends, I could do all the things I wanted to do and if I failed, I would have a way to share the pain rather than keep it inside. I am always showing off my skills and abilities because it shows that I am wanting others to appreciate what I do rather than be fully self-confident. I want to go at my own pace and to be able to make decisions without having to be forced to by others. They say I am self-motivated, and it’s true. Because of this I endeavour to make a difference. They just didn’t see the real me back in the past because I didn’t know how to broach the matter. I needed to understand it first. I now know how I am going to do this, and I will find a way to pay them back by changing the world. For instance, vocational rehabilitation views entrepreneurial opportunities as something one would scrape off the bottom of one’s shoe, or a bug that one would squash. It is a waste of government money, and it’s no way for them to verify that you are working. However, if you have a desire to work by yourself, nobody should stop you.
Although this is said every time that we should not judge others based on outward appearances and learn to walk in the other person’s shoes, sometimes we do have to judge, because it is human nature. We don’t’ judge disabilities and emotional states as one’s capabilities and incapabilities, but instead we only see it and we make assumptions without knowing them. This is cultural conflict. But up to this day, I learned to put up with these. I vowed to myself that I will some day be able to use science to fix those who are frenemies and those who are naturally arrogant. I can also learn to use science to fix economic and political issues as well. I’m getting a little tired of it all. I just wish people would be friends without the temper tantrums, the anger, the bad mouthing, the using, etc. I have been feeling kind of distressed over the last few weeks. I want more out of life than the constant haranguing of people who say that they think we are the cause of the drama, etc. I’m so tired of people like such throwing their little temper tantrums and people who should be adults but are acting like little kids in adults’ bodies! It’s weird because what makes them angry in the first place? Children get angry when they are unable to really express their desires and frustrations, because their diction fails them or because they are afraid that if they say what they want they will be put down. If this happens in adults, it is very similar because they have more vocabulary and they are better at language. It is also because they are constantly arguing, everyone wants you to understand them now, and if you cannot, they will just get so frustrated because they failed to get the point across to you. They lack the patience to explain or to think about how to put it in a way that others would understand, including you. What makes a person lose their patience in the first place? Those chemicals our pituitary glands sends us? Those feelings we feel when something is wrong, or something of that sort? I’m tired of it! Sometimes I feel like I just want to be done with the whole mess. I feel like turning off anything that involves social media and just turning on something generation V, W or X would appreciate or doing something else. All the stress on top of what I’m trying to do is giving me anxiety and chest pains. I simply can’t handle any more. Nobody gets the fact that I am doing my best not to be involved with the crap and they keep insisting that I get pulled into the problems and expect me to solve it. Well, how can I solve a problem if all they care is about themselves, and how can I solve it if no one gives me the story from the beginning to the end without arguing whether it was accurate or not? I tell you, hormones have gotten too high with all that crappy music we listen to. We have to listen to Western art music to release that serotonin. Why, I heard somewhere that some people are trying to learn how to get a natural high without using drugs to see what it is about those chemicals that makes us want to cause trouble. It could help us find antidotes to these drugs. I only solve problems if they are willing to obey and be nice in return. I don’t even want to any more. I want good friends who won’t keep raising the golden bar ever higher and just beyond my reach. I apologise to any of you out there if any of this raving hurt you in any way, but I couldn’t hold it back any longer and just had to let it pour out. I keep thinking I’m doing the adult thing and nothing is the right adult thing to do. I especially think it is a pain when people conform all the time that the subconscious mind absorbs it so much that you literally hard-wire your brain, your pituitary gland, and many other things. I lack serotonin and right now I am feeling very emotional. Blind people have problems getting Vitamin D because those with little to no light perception tend to get their sleeping schedules messed up, and we stay up until the wee hours of the morning. So, the problem today is that people will always be fighting for what they believe in, and it may never cease.
First, I have a hug for everyone who reads this. Second, I have something to share. I want to encourage you all to not dismiss Birthdays and holidays as “just another day”. Instead, they are opportunities to make more special memories. It’s a symbol of love, happiness and hope. Why do I celebrate my Birthday? I use it for another reason to have a fun day and make special memories. I want to encourage you all to not forget your traditions with your families. Life is so precious and we don’t know how long we have with each other. Transhumanism will some day have us living for eternity, if we don’t overpopulate the world. So, use these times like Christmas to bond. If you don’t have a good family, then you can come to ours or build your own family of people who care for you and for whom you care the most. I think the more the world desensitises to socialising together, the more people will go down hill and you may have more violence, etc. That’s why I use history to learn why, why did we get here in the first place? Why are we limiting our freedom of speech to using more sensitive words? It is because of developments in counter-culture and language. That’s why. It just seems to me that this world has gotten colder with each passing year and we need to reach out and care again. Our world has always had imperfections and flaws ever since the Native-Americans and Europeans clashed and we became colonised.  Those who can’t fit in will have to find ways to adjust and to build groups again. Even the post human community wants to turn humans into robots by shutting off our limbic systems and to work in places where everything is like a machine, even though I am a supporter of H+. I want to use natural alternatives to solve problems in medicine and keep from implanting artificial objects into our bodies. Just live, laugh, love together and have fun. Those who don’t want to… Well, it’s too bad for them. All we can do is assimilate and brainwash them. Have a great day everyone and I hope something neat happens for you all today or this weekend.
Sometimes we have to make  the unfortunate choices if people are being costly or you just can’t
get along with each other, then you have to part ways, at least for a time until one or both parties do some growing. it may be that you both will never come back again, but if you stay on the positive path and do good for others and or build other up as well as building yourself up, then it will be seen by all people around you. You have to do what’s healthy for you. Some people choose not to be loved or loveable, which is too bad. The best we can do for them is pray and allow God to take care of them.
I just want to say  to any of you young people out there or to anyone starting over in life again, do not listen to  anyone who says that you are trying too hard. Do not be peer-pressured to changing your ways just to fit into cultures of arrogance, exclusiveness, etc. That is the worst thing you can do. Had I not listened, I would have been successful a lot earlier in life. When people tell you that you are trying too hard, they are  just jealous and they do not want to try hard enough because they are contented with themselves. They just want to attract others and continue growing their groups so that they have better forces to fight. It’s human nature. They lack self-motivation and inspiration. They will feel better if you can fail with them. They want you to be like them. They expect you to be like them which is not going to happen. It is a subconscious thing. Sometimes we are thrust into these communities against our own will. We have a choice over which cultures we identify with, and some we have no choice over which we cannot identify with. So I say to any of you, go ahead and try your hardest. Try  your best. Do not force yourself to be friends with people where you have to try so hard just  to fit in and meet their high standards. Blind and sighted people are good at doing that to each other because for the blind they have a community. They want newcomers to immediately know their beliefs and customs, which is not acceptable. Only pick people who like you for who you are and  are not going to be hypercritical of you. In a sentence, try hard to achieve your desired career in life while picking only real friends. Do not be afraid of your “friends” either. If you have to be afraid  of someone, then they are not your friends. They are more like acquaintances or associates. Friends encourage and build one another up and if that is not happening for you, find people  who will do that for you and with you. Become an encourager yourself. Real friends do not
gossip about each other either. They share things. It’s common for women to do this more than men, as well as those in between. I have seen a lot of stuff on the social-media sites and a lot of  the younger people are busy being hurt and hurting one another. I had to step away and still am stepping away to regroup. I wish that when I was a teenager and college age, someone would have told me these things I am sharing now. I have been just doing a lot of thinking and re-evaluating for myself is all. It applies to adults at any age, too. Be a real friend and  eventually, you will have real friends. Due to all that has happened to me, I am forced to regroup, to restart my life and to live as the person I should have been from the beginning. I am who I am now because I learned from my own attitudes and responses to Western society’s expectations, and I am constantly compelled to do things that are against my beliefs and abilities. If I tried to conform and to pretend to be selfish and be a full conformist, it would be like forcing my brain to do something that it is not used to doing. The good news is that our brains and genes are very flexible, just like our bodies. That is why the mind is so infinite.
I think you might agree that the human race is primarily built of people with self characteristics and traits. These kinds of people are very successful in leading, following leaders, and persuading others to join them. They like to manipulate other people and change their beliefs gradually. What about those who are not in the primary build of human race? Those who have been separated from such groups will develop other characteristics and traits. These people are more likely to fail and may be successful if they are motivated by themselves or by their friends who have things in common. These people are followers and are rarely leaders. They are open-minded and are often involved in fights with those who are selfish. It is as if the people are black and white. They do not go together. To make things clear, races are never black and white. It is always light or dark ROY, according to the human colour wheel.
One of the things I often get worried about is when friends who I truly care about and who I help whenever they ask for it go back on me by giving me the silent treatment. They should know that they should not feel bad about coming to me with their problems and that I am the kind of sweet, caring person who doesn’t hold grudges against anyone. If they need time off and a quiet place to be with themselves, I understand greatly. Often, when I am nice to people I am taken advantage of, and then I have to snap at them because they simply ask too much of me. It’s a reflex. There are some people who are trained to take in all the blows and still be calm about it. I am still working hard on that, but the pain, the pain inside is so unbearable and I am currently attending mental health support groups, trying to find some sensory deprivation tanks, listening to brain wave entrainment files, and hopefully one day, I can be hypnotised so I can forget all this. I’ve been doing my best to describe what depression is like to someone who has never experienced it, and I believe I have the right description. The sensations experienced happen in your head, and you feel tension in your chest and stomach due to muscles constantly being constricted. You use language and images to ponder over the events that caused it. That’s my goal about using sensation experience. Language is the second to strongest, image and sensation are the strongest. That’s how we are human. We use these two to perceive information and to know how to respond. I have been fascinated with the transmission of sensation because I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to experience mental problems like autism, cerebral dysfunctions, seizures and epilepsy etc, and also use it to learn how to see and hear well, or in other words, simulate abilities to people who are disabled and to simulate disabilities to people who are able-bodied. Also, is it possible for a willing participant to voluntarily go insane, or will there need to be some kind of a brain manipulative technique such as gene modification to make insanity occur? For this to happen, however, we need support from those who support modern medicine in the H+ community.
In regards to money… I am still trying to understand the past government shut-downs and trying to see why the others occurred. It is important that omniscient people learn about politics and what makes a person a politician in the first place. I’m sick and tired about what happened with the government. In the revolution, I was proposing a new form of payment. It will require everyone to earn credit that they can use, and the way they can earn credit is through education, volunteering, etc. Imagine if everything was pre-paid, with the exception of property. That will require some other form of ownership. If people had pre-paid services, we would not owe anything because we would be paying for what we are going to use rather than what we have already used. Since it would be similar to civic virtue, you would almost be sure to have a good civic score that is equivalent of a credit score. I believe that the more pre-paid services there are, the more people would be willing to pay. Someone said for me to tell that to Rome because of their history of civic virtue they had a long time ago. Their government collapsed because something went wrong. They forced people to be selfless. Now we are making it an incentive, not a requirement. Money is like water that you have to treat. Credits and debits are different. That’s what I heard somewhere in a Sci-Fi novel. Money and religion have been around since antiquity and has always been a form of social reconstructionism. Today, we are capitalists because we are primarily selfish and we manipulate other people with money just so we can make a better profit. That is all according to John Locke’s philosophy. With credits and debits, this will not be necessary, and everyone will have a positive experience.
I have a hard time not getting all wound up about what I think are injustices. I cannot support any agency that says one thing and goes back on their word. I do not like how the disabled agencies start out user-friendly and then over the years get sterile. I have seen it happen to now several places that I deeply loved and supported (loved and supported being definitely past tense.) I cannot support agencies and or organisations who change from user friendly to ruling among themselves, not others with policy, procedure, and having image first rather than how they started which was people first. People just wanted to create a philosophy for their organisation and then they just forget about it as they turn into selfish humans. They can say the words that they are there for the people but they are not. One is out for image and money, and I do not know what the other one is doing, probably turning people into selfish leaders, we need a place that believes in us and we can truly believe in. That is why I brought up the new payment system I spoke of. I want to get involved with organisations that do not live in fear of litigation or whatever. They are afraid of the harshness of legality that there are ways to force organisations and agencies to change because people fight all the time, and many laws have become so strict and cold. No one has dared to rebel and challenge such laws because everyone in politics and economics come from different sides. I want to be with agencies that say they are truly consumer-driven and really mean it. If they cannot stick up with that, it should be driven by people who care, people who have personally shared painful experiences. They should not be shared by people who were previously leaders in their communities or were full conformists in any given high-standard culture. I want everyone to remember this. When someone tells you that policy is good for the organisation and or agency and that it sets it free based on staff-feedback, that means it is not and I mean not good for the people who are wanting services. We need to set policies that are based on the consumers, volunteers, staff, and any other position intersectionally. They should not be set by just one superior position. I am just tired of seeing this happen, and I do not want to watch things like that any more. I am tired of believing in something that seems friendly, nice and like a family turn cold and administrative. I have seen it several times here. I am older and I am going to put my foot down and not show up to agencies and or organisations who are supposed to be there to welcome the people they target like me in a people-friendly environment and instead welcome with coldness and rules. I say no and no is what I mean. If I get involved again in volunteering for another agency and or organisation, I want and need it to stay people-friendly-oriented and not staff and policy-oriented with moving toward more procedure and computer driven ways as they hide behind all these rules for whatever reason. This is why we have to stop being so manipulative to customers because we would be losing them rather than gaining them. This is not just for agencies and organisations, but to companies that serve everybody. Rules and policy are fine if it is not over done and hurting the very people the organisations and or agencies are trying to serve. In the 1970’s there was a lot more freedom and that needs to come back. Question then is, why? Why did it change? What made the 1970’s different? If we know the causes we can put an end to it and to the effects it has made. People were people back then: they were not people turned robots due to policy and computer. I worry that posthumanism is about robots. I support transhumanism, not posthumanism. Even the post human community wants to turn humans into robots by shutting off our limbic systems and work in places where everything is like a machine. Transhumanism is about turning humans into humans with enhanced bodies using natural alternatives. Posthumanism is about turning humans into cyborgs with enhanced bodies with implanted materials. Metahumanism and parahumanism has to do with modified human species, which I am completely against.
Rant over. It is time to bring back more freedom and genuine love for others where we treat one another like friends and family needs to return to the people-oriented agencies, companies and organisations. There is a disability agency right now that does not allow their employees to be friends with and have parties with those of us coming for services or volunteering. and, I think the work place should not dictate who you can and cannot be friends with, for example. All of this stuff is fear-based and I am determined to find ways to still live in freedom. One of the things I learned was that if you were to be a doctor, you should avoid being personally involved with your patience so that in case they died, you would have little emotions towards them. It is an act of pure professionalism here. People are just too afraid to stand up and go against the rules. I know several people who have, and they lost their jobs because of it. But the agency had to pay back by facing a law suit. I just want to say, be yourself. If you are going to start an organisation, an agency, or company, just follow this advice and you will really be successful.
I believe some day criminals will have a new sentence. Instead of life in prison or death penalty, a total brain wipe can erase their entire memories, and then use gene modification techniques to balance out their hormones. Question then becomes, would it be necessary for them to have a police record if they don’t remember a single thing? And, if they re-learned everything, would they still have instinctive feelings, cravings, etc of wanting to cause evil? I know, a lot of the stuff in H+is wild, but I strive to making them beneficial and safe for everyone. Why, some day we might replace benefit, credit cards and any form of legal access with a fingerprint. Just look at where we are now. Some day we’ll be able to eat animal meat without having to kill the animal. Vegetarians and vegans will be excited because most of them feel it is immoral and unethical to eat their friends. Well, guess what? This will help solve food crises in the future. The problem with this is that the reason we are eating more artificial things and moving away from the beauty of natural stuff is due to government policies based on sound science, saying that we need to preserve things longer with chemicals and such. Farmers would be making less money here in this country and this would make prospective workers face harsh conditions in the future, especially for foreigners. Would it be fair to say that these chemicals add or remove taste from the food? I would like to see if there are ways of overcoming such issues. I totally believe far safer and superior medical practices will emerge and anyone who has had to deal with cancer would wholeheartedly endorse a more effective therapy than chemo if it exists. The leading causes of death, however, occur due to preventive diseases like diabetes and cardiovascular illnesses that would die off if people essentially ate healthy food and lived active lifestyles. Several eye, mouth, and skin conditions can be dealt with by taking vitamin supplements for those not present in their diet and observing hygiene regiments. These do not save you from surgery, but it prepares your body to better combat and heal from sudden trauma and creates a hostile environment for parasites and several types of cancers. Also, many surgeries are unnecessary. It will also make it so that patients seeking surgeries for cosmetic purposes can heal faster and we would prolong the look of being young. I am still trying to do research on how genetic instructional makeup determines how much fatty tissue should be distributed and see if being over-weight plays a role with this and with the kind of life styles we have today.
I have been attending a peer education cohort in my local area to educate myself about anthropology, and I am using hard and soft science and art techniques to address lots of issues we face in Western and Eastern world, as well as use history to learn how and why we got here in the first place and why it it is that we are here now.
I hope some day I can regroup and be more successful. No one gave me room to breathe so I could really discover my personality. Everyone wanted me to do this and that, and at first I went with the flow. But then, because of the kindest people who are usually mistreated, I had to think hard. Why me? Because I was different? The fact that I’m different shocked me, but I learned to accept it and to be comfortable in finding it. I believe that my being who I am was 20% nature’s doing and 80% nurture’s doing. All I can do now is put my old life behind me and move on, for better or for worse, I am happy now that I am out. I now have opinions of my own, whereas when I was younger I really didn’t. I only use my coming out as a weapon and, in cases where I feel like I am threatened; I just tell them the real truth about me and hope that they will back off. I will only be friends with those who will love me for who I am. I do hope that H+ will find a way for people like ourselves to transition a lot more quickly and with the ability to reproduce than what we have now. I will say this, though. I am androgynous, prefer non-specific pronouns and titles, and will be so for about ten years or until H+ has come out with the technology to make it happen.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, then refrain from saying anything at all. If you have a criticism to make, use passive and constructive communication. I do not like it when people use aggressive communications in such circumstances like this. All I’m trying to do is be the person who wants to live their life. I won’t have people like such turn me down and hurt me. It’s not healthy. I have a voice and I can defend myself with allies to support me. I may be soft-spoken where I rarely yell and shout. I may be quiet, but so what? That doesn’t mean I am incapable of talking. It just reflects who I am. My final words of advice? Don’t think you are alone in being the one to experience the inner pain. Sometimes when you least expect it there is someone out there who will share their pain with you, for No One is Alone. Both of you should encourage each other to lift up and to unite to make an unbreakable bond, to reassemble so you can have forces to fight back. This is known as a unity.